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The Red Chain

Member since 2003 · Posted 16 Sep 2006 · 6 comments

The specialist completely as the junction completes me. It's here I fight to retain all and reflect my sinking apolgy on you. You imagine my hands as a chain wrapped red around your neck. You elect to scream when you are alone. Can I reject your sympathies: what sinfully decadent lovelies you construe? I might scream with you.

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mean 4.67 weighted 4.91 rank 9657 views 181 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

6 comments

[8] half.italian 16-Sep-06/2:24 PM Reply

Did I miss something in the first line? A missing word or I just don't understand enough to accept it. Second stanza; elegant, chilling.

[7] nypoet22 17-Sep-06/3:19 AM Reply

clever language. this poem is tightly constructed, which makes me wonder more about the subject. i feel the first 8 lines are very strong, but something more solid is needed within the last 4, to complete the chain, as it were.

[3] Edna Sweetlove 17-Sep-06/6:23 PM Reply

Not exactly rocket science.

[7] ecargo 18-Sep-06/9:00 AM Reply

Your first stanza doesn't really make sense--it's as if you dropped a word in the first line. You've got a typo (apology). Some interesting language, but you seem to sacrifice sense for sound.

[n/a] MacFrantic › ecargo 18-Sep-06/10:39 AM Reply

I always sacrifice sense, and I never take mistakes out. Thanks.

[3] sca 7-Jun-07/12:57 AM Reply

I don't understand the first line, and I'm not one for poetry that's so rephrased and rearanged it's fragmented, so this doesn't rate all that highly with me.