Despite some stumbles in the last part of S3 this thing rocks hard from L1 S1 to L8 S5 - Excellent job - you've now earned the right to be an asshole for 3 more months.

The images need to be tied into something. A central theme or themes. Good though, I can see the horus influence.

nice, but metaphors are supposed to track and flames burning out do not leave poison behind.

Your poems are mysteries, wooden pigeons landing in trees. I can only latch onto glimpses of heftiness, grins on wet leaves, and think of myself as beautiful. Or did I misread the signs?

More short story than poem. That's not say it is not a good story. It's an episode that would make a good poem.

Loved the first stanza.

Really to be frank and not Peter? Your last line Peters out, and that's why you have five 8's. People are being kind, but we all know what that means? It means your last line is poopy.

JOHN STAMOS AND REBECCA ROMIJN-STAMOS SEPARATE Mon Apr 12, 4:08 PM ET LOS ANGELES - Married life is over for "Full House" actor John Stamos (news) and "X-Men" actress Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (news), the former Victoria's Secret model. The couple has separated after five years of marriage, publicist Lewis Kay said Monday. "The split is amicable and they have asked that the media please respect their privacy regarding this situation during this difficult time," Kay said. The spokesman said the couple had no further comment. Stamos, 40, and Romijn, 31, met in 1994 at a Victoria's Secret fashion show and began dating two months later. They married in September 1998. The actress appeared in "X-Men," "X2: X-Men United," "Femme Fatale (news - web sites)" and "Rollerball" and she appears in the upcoming films "The Punisher" and "Godsend." Stamos, best-known for his role as Jesse in "Full House" from 1987 to 1995, played John Sears in last year's cable TV movie "The Reagans." In recent years, he's played on the Broadway stage. In October, Stamos replaced Antonio Banderas (news) as the film director obsessed with women in the Tony Award-winning revival of "Nine" at New York's Eugene O'Neill Theatre. He had also replaced Matthew Broderick (news) in the revival of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" and starred as the master of ceremonies in the long-running Roundabout Theatre Company production of "Cabaret" at Studio 54.

Now if this aint a reason for nentwined to device darkangel and horus8 action figures complete with draw string rip chords and interchangable rims and colonoscopi bags... I don't know what is, but they'd sure fucking sell better in the alms shop than that stupid fucking hat and mug.

You should get an action figure too, you're good. I don't know who in the fuck you are, and you need to be spanked, but you're good.

A sparkling guff of horticulture.

I kinda like it. Quick sad statement on misinterpretation, that could easily be misinterpreted. LOL,. The wet leaf has no choice but to let go. this is kinda funny in a way.

lowercase e on evolves.

pretty funny

The capitalisation is odd. The pace is what you seem to be going for, but it does seem a bit cobbled together.

5 syllables - 7 syllables - 5 syllables. You don't have to stick to such a structure but the fact you did the numbers with words suggests a misconception. The idea is ok but would be better as a throw away line not an entire poem.

Well put together, one of your best.

very good, agree with shuushin about s3 though.

Quite good really, the language could be more punchy, but that is my only criticism.

Much better. But with the new, longer footnote you need to find another way to set it apart, methinks.