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Severed Arm (Free verse) by jessicazee
I was there the day you lost your arm. Sometimes I hear your scream from a neighborhood child, piercing and ripe with terror and shock. As I ate cheesecake in the break room, you fulfilled the tasks of our job. You waited too long. I saw your eyes for a moment, and I grew ten feet, then cowered behind a box of boxes, unable to be human, just a twitch. I wanted to tell you I tried to help, my hands felt gone, too, dialing 911 with my forearm. The blood. When I thought it was safe to emerge, an arm was handed to me like an entree, My head hit the red floor. I never saw you again but I heard you lived. I'm sorry I wore your apron.

Up the ladder: Teenage Guidance
Down the ladder: Normality

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.970199
Overall Rank: 8458
Posted: April 12, 2004 3:57 PM PDT; Last modified: April 12, 2004 3:57 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] deleted user @ 17.255.240.138 | 12-Apr-04/4:54 PM | Reply
More short story than poem. That's not say it is not a good story. It's an episode that would make a good poem.
[8] richa @ 81.178.253.141 | 13-Apr-04/7:09 AM | Reply
Quite good really, the language could be more punchy, but that is my only criticism.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.44.158.156 | 13-Apr-04/7:50 AM | Reply
I'd like to see a greater emphasis on the apron and less about your emotions.
[n/a] jessicazee @ 64.12.117.6 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 13-Apr-04/1:48 PM | Reply
thanks for the comments, guys!
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