Re: Mother nature's creation (Terza Rima sonnet) by sanity	5-Jul-04/8:27 AM
for you and I?????
Re: Your sad goodbye by sanity	5-Jul-04/8:29 AM
there is something catchy and appealing about this.
Re: The lost perfume of my yellow-rose-Girl by Prince of Void	6-Jul-04/6:47 AM
an attenuated strip of cheese graffiti on the side of an ass dumpster
Re: Virgin Bride by TwilightDawned	6-Jul-04/6:50 AM
Bob Sagat blowing Jung
Re: Blobby blob code ** by MR Blobby	6-Jul-04/6:53 AM
i would give you a 10, but since you already have a 3....i think shooting for the worst list is a better option. blob on.
Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic	6-Jul-04/7:00 AM
"her foot servants too" what is with all the low votes here? i think confined to an air of vanity is quite a good line. and we sang to her i think this poem is excellent
Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic	6-Jul-04/7:02 AM
i do think "faltered ego" could be better stated. more clear.
Re: escape by moonlightdance	6-Jul-04/7:04 AM
problems that dwell in our world???
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jul-04/5:41 AM
great poem. ominous. title room should be 203
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jul-04/5:54 AM
this is a haiku. it is in the present moment. everything is natural. and who gives a fuck? the title: i don't know. the link to brando is necessary for full effect, but why not just Brando? 3rd line...i would like it better as "the moon grown fat" perhaps making the entire ku one sentence. i have become addicted to haiku, and have written nothing but for the past 2 weeks or so...quite frustrating actually. I wish i had never written one. this one is damn good.
Re: Whore by gavinduff	7-Jul-04/6:01 AM
let me be the first to say "davinguff" sentence structure is a major, crucial element in all writing, including free verse, prose and even some grocery lists. the worthwhile writer takes his potential audience into consideration, and tries to structure sentences in a way that makes them understandable to that audience. I think the poem is pretty good, though it feels like a preach in parts. this is unsavory.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jul-04/6:11 AM
i dont think you have to write "i look at them" the following action implies this just fine. good poem.
Re: Bankruptcy (2) by INTRANSIT	7-Jul-04/6:14 AM
lions could use an apostrophe
Re: Bankruptcy by INTRANSIT	7-Jul-04/6:17 AM
i am not entirely sure, but i don't think that the word "loom" can be used as a transitive verb. perhaps move the word loom to the first line or use a comma. this goes well with part 2, and is pretty good, and even a bit funny.
Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic	7-Jul-04/6:24 AM
i still do not understand why sung and not sang.
Re: The circle of life by sanity	11-Jul-04/6:03 AM
i laughed. I cried...mostly cried. then i began to vomit
Re: Funny Little World by LintyWeenis	11-Jul-04/6:07 AM
well. this poem...not so good. but your screen name is the best i have seen...perfect, diamond brilliance. 10
Re: Ze invsible limerick by DR Limerick	11-Jul-04/6:08 AM
crickets chirping
Re: for June (the boy not the month)/Beatrice Poon by New Life Drug	11-Jul-04/6:10 AM
cut off the first half
Re: Closed Doors by the indign	11-Jul-04/6:15 AM
my god, child. have you read this aloud? anew again? sour knife?