poemranker ::Your sad goodbye by sanity

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Other № 107291

Your sad goodbye

by sanity

Member since 2004 · Posted 4 Jul 2004 · 5 comments

Whispers through the branches Echo as we part Clouds above forming The rain will soon start The children's laughs and screams Echo as we part Clouds above forming Darkness in my heart Your sad goodbye to me Echo as we part Clouds above forming As you now depart

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mean 6.43 weighted 5.38 rank 3233 views 191 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

5 comments

[8] richa 4-Jul-04/5:37 AM Reply
Cute enough nice sounds, the last two lines of each verse are a nice innovation.
[9] Dovina 4-Jul-04/8:21 AM Reply
I like the repeated line "Clouds above forming" with its shades of meaning, and rhyming lines 2 and 4. There must be a name for this.

"Echoes as we part" or "Your sad goodbyes to me"

[n/a] sanity › Dovina 4-Jul-04/8:48 AM Reply
there is a name for it, I created it myself and named it seicinque, thi8s is a multiple seicinque, the basis is
line 1 6 syllables
lines2,3,4. 5 syllables

you can have one stanza or multiples of and the rhyming scheme is aBCb dBCb eBCb and so on, try it, it's quite challenging and you can use any subjest matter with it........
[10] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 4-Jul-04/2:38 PM Reply
I like the way you use clouds as a metaphor for the human condition.
[9] edpeterson 5-Jul-04/8:29 AM Reply
there is something catchy and appealing about this.