| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Jun-04/8:11 AM |
well, it is recorded right here.. why? who cares?
I think it is kinda funny.
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| Re: With Reckless Abandon by MacFrantic |
10-Jun-04/6:24 AM |
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everything above 3 and everything below, to infinity, is total bullshit. 10
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Jun-04/8:25 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Jun-04/5:57 AM |
i like the twist at the end, but the handling throughout feels a little clumsy and unfinished.
farther should be further. get to that punch line faster.
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| Re: sweet kissing me there by misslexy |
11-Jun-04/5:59 AM |
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overdone. cut half of it.
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| Re: Of Painting by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
11-Jun-04/6:02 AM |
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umm..think same as god lady. but i also think the poems should end on the word shit. I like the poem though...it is defiant and kinda funny.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Jun-04/6:07 AM |
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I prefer Quize to trate, because of the alliteration and because it implies desire. i like that line as a "trying" line...makes the last line like a nice surprise or a bonus boner.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Jun-04/6:09 AM |
la ultima vez
que quize sexo, (or que quize hacer amor.)
me la respondio, (or like you have it)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Jun-04/7:12 AM |
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| Re: Untitled 48 by TLRufener |
13-Jun-04/7:15 AM |
silence calls straight to my soul?
and you couldn't even think of a title?
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| Re: Hiding by QuirkyWonder |
13-Jun-04/7:21 AM |
first half cliche...sort of public domain adage.
eventhough ? second half, powerless. average
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| Re: Blinking by zodiac |
17-Jun-04/2:37 PM |
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brilliant, brilliant stuff here.
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| Re: What's Poetry by Sasha |
18-Jun-04/9:20 PM |
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i took a trip to detroit several years ago.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Jun-04/9:22 PM |
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i think the ending would read better as "you have to suck my cock to ease my pain" Or "you have to massage my rectum to ease my pain"
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| Re: Navy Pier by Doug |
18-Jun-04/9:24 PM |
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stoic? lilted breeze? final stanza is quite good
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jun-04/9:47 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jun-04/9:49 AM |
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what??? how can we dance with all this prattling on about evil and righteousness?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Jun-04/3:25 PM |
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i have come to expect much better from you than this watery slush of sentiment.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Jul-04/8:20 AM |
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| Re: Order My Book, And $4.00 Will Go To Killing A Pop Star by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
5-Jul-04/8:26 AM |
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that's it.. I'm buyin one
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