| Re: Prisoner Of Reality by rottweiler1982 |
16-Sep-02/8:46 PM |
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Poetic justice? Typos. Reality has little to due with the punishment of sin. Reality punishes the good as well as the bad. She's not prejudice. Prisoner of Regret. Not horrible, but no grab. Rice cake poem.
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| Re: Eternal Sleep by Artificial_Sweetner |
16-Sep-02/8:49 PM |
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"lifes never been swell" gets a 0 and destroys all hope.
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| Re: NIGHTMILK SUNBLOOD by horus8 |
17-Sep-02/7:56 AM |
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Jesus Christ! An abudance of imaginative expression. It's difficult to leave you comments. I'm usually overwhelmed by your imagery and the accuracy of your observation. This one especially.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Sep-02/9:58 PM |
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| Re: Meaning by Ojiboch |
17-Sep-02/10:07 PM |
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This is void of meaning. Line 6, your slip is showing.
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| Re: Black liqourice & G-stringed orphans by horus8 |
17-Sep-02/10:31 PM |
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You stun and amaze. A tonic for the ills of reading ugly navel lint poems. Praise Isis.
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| Re: Operation: Nielsens by bondjedi |
18-Sep-02/6:31 PM |
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I love this kind of untouched snapshot, although the last line doesn't quite finish the set up of the 1st 2.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Sep-02/6:37 PM |
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| Re: Baked Peach Cobbler Windowed by horus8 |
18-Sep-02/10:18 PM |
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Ah the verbal gymnastics you put my neurons through. Personal trainer. Arsenal drainer. Rubber neck craner. Vegetable strainer. Confort zone maimer. Pinchi Cavrone.
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| Re: Why Is It When I...? by liljsmith87 |
18-Sep-02/10:29 PM |
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I'm curious, what books of poetry do 15 yr olds read these days? Seriously.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Sep-02/10:41 PM |
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Hmmm. The end "takes this to the next level" (as our nation has grown so fond of saying) I prefer this to your others. Did I see this before? It looks familiar. Still to rich for my taste, but there's some skill, can't deny it. It's just trying too hard. Last line good.
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| Re: You're the Only One by Chels85 |
18-Sep-02/10:51 PM |
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The sentiment of the last 3 couplets is so beautiful, but this needs reconstructive surgery. The whole "you're the only one" line needs to be dropped. It's been used to death. Most of this is pretty bad. It's a vocal desert.
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| Re: Seasonal Lover by amateurR |
18-Sep-02/11:23 PM |
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Nature is unfaithful? to the seasons? That's absurd, she returns each year at the designated hour. Use an analogy that works.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Sep-02/7:58 AM |
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Now sap has ebbed leaves a giant question mark. I thought it was a dance of renewal? The Rite of Spring can be pretty funny, but your a sweetheart to compromise.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Sep-02/8:01 AM |
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I get the feeling this piece gets some most of it's sentiment from the melody. Not as much flare as usual.
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| Re: Circle by Christof |
19-Sep-02/8:04 AM |
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You know for someone who poopoos the marital state, you sure write about it a lot.
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| Re: Glassblowers by Christof |
19-Sep-02/8:06 AM |
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Much tastier. I can't afford it either, but I'm the bull in the china shop.
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| Re: Musings from the LTD by w~* ATHENA *~w |
19-Sep-02/8:16 AM |
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I went to the Levi 25 yrs of Punkorama last weekend. Took the boy, had loads of fun. I don't understand the last line. {?} at the end of the L6 looks awkward.
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| Re: Circle by Christof |
19-Sep-02/8:20 AM |
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Are you the one woman, sympathetic family man type?
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| Re: Gone Away by Christof |
19-Sep-02/8:22 AM |
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I send you internet kisses.
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