regarding some deleted poem...	19-Sep-02/8:34 AM
Fish out of water. Needs music, all those A.M.I.D.s left gasping.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Sep-02/9:22 AM
face = flavor? This poem is badly written.
Re: Fleas by bigbigdog	19-Sep-02/10:37 AM
go away.
Re: Eight by amateurR	19-Sep-02/4:26 PM
This lacks compassion. It's scary which is good but you need to develop your characters more. Read 'No Angel Came"
Re: My Mamma's Hands by amateurR	19-Sep-02/4:30 PM
Not bad. Not good but not bad. There's no emotion. I going to a Dodger game and then I'm camping all weekend. Talk with you on Monday.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Sep-02/10:04 AM
You write about things you know nothing of, and you do it very badly. This looks like a mis-mosh of trite observations you heard at a peace rally. "unrully sink lower" what the hell is that? The 1st stanza is such a twisted mess it is almost completely incomprehensable.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Sep-02/10:11 AM
I was really hoping you might redeem yourself slightly by being halfway descent at this. I expected too much. You're not saying anything. You're cow in the pasture analogy is laughable, and your "unique use of grammer has no poetry in it. Poetry is not a spewing off your own personal philosophies. Poetry reveals experience through the sharing of common images, thus moving the audience to feel what you are trying to express.
Re: Persephone by Lynn	20-Sep-02/10:35 AM
Wow this really is gorgeous. Great images, told in voice of a young woman. The relationships between her and the other actors are fully developed. This is fine. Reminds me of Ann Sexton's Transformations. Have you read them?
Re: On waiting to pick up my lover on Friday by bigbigdog	20-Sep-02/10:45 AM
bigbigcocksucker.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Sep-02/4:23 PM
Rustic. Lovely images. Last line is missing (of) me thinks. Lines 3&4 of stanzas 2&3 semm unnecessarily redundant.
Re: O Man Away From Me by Limness	22-Sep-02/4:57 PM
I love the heavy blankets line, have you thought of leaving it there? the next line subtracts from it.
Re: Spellbound by Limness	22-Sep-02/5:11 PM
It's good from middle on (sans cats). Last stanza best of them.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Sep-02/5:13 PM
Mores the pity. What's left of him?
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Sep-02/6:24 PM
tell her & sadder rhymn like car & Hitler. Are you a painter? Not house but canvas.
Re: Trespasser at the Men's Bathing Pond by Christof	23-Sep-02/6:58 AM
I voted on this but hadn't commented. The title is a stranger to me. I assume the stone-dropper is in S1 is the premoter of your desire in S2 but I keep picturing a man so it puts me off. I prefer S2. Line 4 seems unnecessary I read it without L4 and (spreads) in L3, but that just means I transformed it into something more mine. I particularly like the last line. You have to be brave to rouse another's desire. I haven't seen too much expressing that.
Re: Here In The Heart of Amber by Lenore	23-Sep-02/7:06 AM
This is fantastic. Particularly the last stanza, it is complete in thought, rhythm and rhyme.
Re: Spanish fLie by flatliner	23-Sep-02/4:46 PM
No entiendo. Todo esta demasiado confuso. El primer verso si se entiende, pero comensando con {si ay tiempo me olvideras} no sera {si uviera tiempo me olvideras}? During the day we search for a way to live/If we meet, it is by mistake/ Everything that happened, we shall forget, and,/I know it is not the truth. (I don't understand what you're talking about).
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Sep-02/5:44 PM
Gret example of style over substance. I mean this as high praise. A poem doesn't always have to heavy with weight, but light with sound. The second stanza is delightful. I love picturing you with one eyebrow up, slightly perturbed by her.
Re: Married by INTRANSIT	23-Sep-02/5:46 PM
I love your poem.
Re: Unveiled by aperfecttool77	23-Sep-02/11:02 PM
Why is it so hard for peopppple to express themselves in simile? This is too concrete. Inner conversations do not poetry make.