Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

My Mamma's Hands (Free verse) by amateurR
Kitchen knife cut adorned Garlic redolent Fingernails pragmatic Dishing out that disgusting Clump of hair From the bathtub drain With finesse unparalleled My sister's hair plaited Shoelaces tied Neat for school Cheese sandwich toasted Orange juice squeezed and chilled Ready to serve Stillness grips Chilly, very cold Pragmatic fingernails blue I painted them red.

Up the ladder: Bloody cow
Down the ladder: memory

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 21
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 20
.. 21
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.090909
Weighted score: 5.0454545
Overall Rank: 6961
Posted: September 13, 2002 11:23 PM PDT; Last modified: September 13, 2002 11:23 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[4] pete @ 194.222.69.43 | 13-Sep-02/11:41 PM | Reply
pragmatic fingernails an interesting phrase but should only be used once ,or if intentionally reversed closer together ... paints a picture of death .... is that right ? .. 4
[n/a] amateurR @ 155.48.131.137 > pete | 13-Sep-02/11:45 PM | Reply
thanx for the comments and constructive advice..i appreciate it and i see what ur saying on reading it again...
yes..it is right..death was the picture i was trying to paint..my mom passed away 4 years ago. thanx once again.
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 14-Sep-02/12:50 AM | Reply
see pete! that's why hippies talk alot of shit , but in reality they know shite? it's about the dullery of taking care of incompitent others (that you love more than hate !?) and skillfully wishing for hot sexy lusty longterm love and adventure. not death .twit . you say 4 ..i say double. you want trouble. cuz i got a tipping plate of it.fucker. 8/10.
[5] god'swife @ 209.178.176.197 | 19-Sep-02/4:30 PM | Reply
Not bad. Not good but not bad. There's no emotion. I going to a Dodger game and then I'm camping all weekend. Talk with you on Monday.
[8] Quarton @ 12.217.212.111 | 14-Jan-03/9:16 AM | Reply
Very descriptive and excellent imagery. Loved the second stanza.
This rates a high mark.
142 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001