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Here In The Heart of Amber (Free verse) by Lenore Tears that heaven knows when
had sucked the fire of some forgotten sun,
and kept it through centuries of gloom;
Still glowing--
Here in the heart of Amber.
This glittering armour in the sun,
glinting ripples, one by one,
come shining across my face
where fossils keep in destined place--
Here in the heart of Amber.
Time's story flowing by,
Forever sweet to flesh and eye,
Forever new and never done.
In golden drops
death and life are one--
Here in the heart of Amber.
Up the ladder:
Autumn At All Saints Church
Down the ladder:
Chuds in the mall
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0833335
Posted: September 22, 2002 10:38 PM PDT; Last modified: September 22, 2002 10:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.0831995 Overall Rank: 1160 Comments:
[9]
vulcan @ 80.242.3.134
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23-Sep-02/12:53 AM
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Reply
Very nice and Classic,lenore!
9/10
Good stuff! Tree sap color? A girls broken heart? I like poems that lend themselves to 2 way thoughts. 8
I like the suggestiveness of your imagery. There are so many possibilities for the mind to explore. I'm not so sure about the repeated refrain though.
I'm happy to see this getting high marks. Thank you one and all!
I chipped away at this gem for weeks! It originally had 10 stanzas. I wasn't too sure about the repeated refrain but after its honing I thought it could work. perhaps you're right.
It just puts me in mind of a folk song and that doesn't really fit with the rest of your verse. I do like this poem though, don't get me wrong!
Wasn't it you that said another of my poems reminded you of Dylan? Anyhow, I won't change it, you'll just have to sing it from now on. ;)
Hey, it might have been. I shall go on my way with a song in my heart!
Yes I did-'Stop It I'm Dizzy'.
This is fantastic. Particularly the last stanza, it is complete in thought, rhythm and rhyme.
swell.
Right on, Lenore. Would "death, life are one" help rhythm? Also, do you want to capitalize Amber, suggesting a woman's name, or leave as lower case, and thus up to the reader's imagination?
yes death,life tightens it up. I capitalized Amber for that very reason. I wanted it fairly obvious that this wasn't just about fossilized tree sap. It seems to have worked so I'll leave it as is. thanks
you have inspired me. i thank you.
i was once an ambered dragonfly...but that was then. this piece is transluscent and honey mad with sticky sweet ripples.
if it can than it will....7.lovely
if it will than it can....thank you
I enjoyed this and thought it had merit.
great work....
Not bad... Kind of deep.... I like it
Shades of Wordsworth here, glittering and glinting so close together give me a bit of a problem. Armour-are you American trying to be English or just using the correct spellig ? This deserves to be here-well done -9/10
this is a good poetry
sounds like a hymn, here in the heart of amber...
So which twats gave it 0?
Quite nice, I enjoyed it.
Hmph, I'm reading some of your pomes after participating in the big argument on Captain Cannibal and contrary to your babblings there about eschewing technique and concreteness for the sake of iconoclasm, most of your other pomes seem to be about tangible things and show considerable attention to technique and structure. So I will make an actual editorial comment: "where fossils keep in destined place" doesn't make sense to me. keep what? or did you mean keep their destined place? Did you mean, as in, will the food keep until next week? If so the colloquialism seems out of place with the rest of the pome.
I think the fossil keep in the places where they're destined rather than, I don't know, running away. This is good, and quite qualifiable as lyric by the way if you want to go that way. Very concrete and pre-raphaelite. Tennyson, even. The all-time master formalist.
ok, I retract my comment. I'm not sure why "keep" bothered me. Possibly because I'm insane?
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