poemranker ::Here In The Heart of Amber by Lenore

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Free verse № 16602

Here In The Heart of Amber

by Lenore

Member since 2002 · Posted 22 Sep 2002 · 27 comments

Tears that heaven knows when had sucked the fire of some forgotten sun, and kept it through centuries of gloom; Still glowing-- Here in the heart of Amber. This glittering armour in the sun, glinting ripples, one by one, come shining across my face where fossils keep in destined place-- Here in the heart of Amber. Time's story flowing by, Forever sweet to flesh and eye, Forever new and never done. In golden drops death and life are one-- Here in the heart of Amber.

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mean 6.08 weighted 6.08 rank 1160 views 314 View voting details →

36 votes so far. Yours would make 37.36 votes so far

27 comments

[9] vulcan 23-Sep-02/12:53 AM Reply
Very nice and Classic,lenore!
[9] vulcan 23-Sep-02/12:54 AM Reply
9/10
[n/a] INTRANSIT 23-Sep-02/5:24 AM Reply
Good stuff! Tree sap color? A girls broken heart? I like poems that lend themselves to 2 way thoughts. 8
[8] Christof 23-Sep-02/6:22 AM Reply
I like the suggestiveness of your imagery. There are so many possibilities for the mind to explore. I'm not so sure about the repeated refrain though.
[n/a] Lenore › Christof 23-Sep-02/6:50 AM Reply
I'm happy to see this getting high marks. Thank you one and all!
I chipped away at this gem for weeks! It originally had 10 stanzas. I wasn't too sure about the repeated refrain but after its honing I thought it could work. perhaps you're right.
[8] Christof › Lenore 23-Sep-02/6:54 AM Reply
It just puts me in mind of a folk song and that doesn't really fit with the rest of your verse. I do like this poem though, don't get me wrong!
[n/a] Lenore › Christof 23-Sep-02/7:08 AM Reply
Wasn't it you that said another of my poems reminded you of Dylan? Anyhow, I won't change it, you'll just have to sing it from now on. ;)
[8] Christof › Lenore 23-Sep-02/7:09 AM Reply
Hey, it might have been. I shall go on my way with a song in my heart!
[8] Christof › Lenore 23-Sep-02/7:11 AM Reply
Yes I did-'Stop It I'm Dizzy'.
[10] god'swife 23-Sep-02/7:06 AM Reply
This is fantastic. Particularly the last stanza, it is complete in thought, rhythm and rhyme.
[8] cobalt 23-Sep-02/8:10 AM Reply
swell.
[8] Frass 23-Sep-02/10:56 AM Reply
Right on, Lenore. Would "death, life are one" help rhythm? Also, do you want to capitalize Amber, suggesting a woman's name, or leave as lower case, and thus up to the reader's imagination?
[n/a] Lenore › Frass 24-Sep-02/9:02 PM Reply
yes death,life tightens it up. I capitalized Amber for that very reason. I wanted it fairly obvious that this wasn't just about fossilized tree sap. It seems to have worked so I'll leave it as is. thanks
[7] <~> 23-Sep-02/12:30 PM Reply
you have inspired me. i thank you.
[7] <{Baba^Yaga}> 23-Sep-02/2:13 PM Reply
i was once an ambered dragonfly...but that was then. this piece is transluscent and honey mad with sticky sweet ripples.
[7] horus8 24-Sep-02/1:25 PM Reply
if it can than it will....7.lovely
[n/a] Lenore › horus8 24-Sep-02/8:52 PM Reply
if it will than it can....thank you
[10] alexander 1-Oct-02/2:50 AM Reply
I enjoyed this and thought it had merit.
[8] Reuben Spiteri 8-Oct-02/1:14 PM Reply
great work....
[7] devina 9-Oct-02/3:08 AM Reply
Not bad... Kind of deep.... I like it
[9] strider1 9-Oct-02/11:45 AM Reply
Shades of Wordsworth here, glittering and glinting so close together give me a bit of a problem. Armour-are you American trying to be English or just using the correct spellig ? This deserves to be here-well done -9/10
[9] Mutant_X 28-Oct-02/7:15 AM Reply
this is a good poetry
[6] daniella 30-Oct-02/2:53 PM Reply
sounds like a hymn, here in the heart of amber...
[9] Ranger 26-Nov-02/1:34 AM Reply
So which twats gave it 0?
[9] Goad 27-Jan-04/1:06 PM Reply
Quite nice, I enjoyed it.

Hmph, I'm reading some of your pomes after participating in the big argument on Captain Cannibal and contrary to your babblings there about eschewing technique and concreteness for the sake of iconoclasm, most of your other pomes seem to be about tangible things and show considerable attention to technique and structure.

So I will make an actual editorial comment: "where fossils keep in destined place" doesn't make sense to me. keep what? or did you mean keep their destined place? Did you mean, as in, will the food keep until next week? If so the colloquialism seems out of place with the rest of the pome.
[n/a] zodiac › Goad 27-Jan-04/1:26 PM Reply
I think the fossil keep in the places where they're destined rather than, I don't know, running away. This is good, and quite qualifiable as lyric by the way if you want to go that way. Very concrete and pre-raphaelite. Tennyson, even. The all-time master formalist.
[n/a] lastobelus › zodiac 27-Jan-04/2:48 PM Reply
ok, I retract my comment. I'm not sure why "keep" bothered me. Possibly because I'm insane?