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Circle (Free verse) by Christof The finger upon the piano key
Topples a note like a domino
Into eternity
Beyond the limits of the sensory
Ringing through the ear's soft-yielding bowl
Into memory
So let the rings upon our fingers be
The first notes of our eternal vow
That's the key
Up the ladder:
To walk in a dream in a dream
Down the ladder:
Cussedness
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.35
Posted: September 19, 2002 2:21 AM PDT; Last modified: September 19, 2002 2:21 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.3334007 Overall Rank: 3482 Comments:
[6]
god'swife @ 209.178.176.164
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19-Sep-02/8:04 AM
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Reply
You know for someone who poopoos the marital state, you sure write about it a lot.
[n/a]
Christof @ 195.172.133.226
> god'swife
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19-Sep-02/8:17 AM
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Reply
Hey i don't poopoo the amrital state, it amkes people very happy. It also makes some people very unhappy. I'm pretty down with it though. Would you re-vote on 'Gone Away'? 'Cos it's finally finished.
Are you the one woman, sympathetic family man type?
I think I'm more the one woman, unsympathetic family man type. It's the family bit that doesn't sit so well with me...
Wow, I literally pictured you with a curly-top toddler on your lap and the not so much older children sitting on the floor around you laughing at your stories. The beautiful wifey admiring the scene from the kitchen door(mixing spoon in hand) Go figure.
That's so far from the truth! Though there is a beautiful wifey, I'm pretty terrible with kids. I'm always afraid I'm going to break them in some way, as I'm pretty clumsy and inept. I have a fear of dropping children on their heads.
Ah yes, the Times, coffee, a tug and poo and a poem from Chistof to start my day. The circle motif is a bit overused, but always sweet when chaps don't throw the cynicism behind it. I would do that, but you my friend, are to damn sweet.
What's with all the tugging?
they're not getting any, maybe...
Oh.
Well that's nice. Glad to see that I take the same priority in your day as a good crap!
Yes, and all like clockwork. I was lost over the weekend when you did not post anything. Nentwhistle should make an exception for you and let you post as much as you want. Just so you know, in my new poem I was so inspired by your work that I too used birdies.
I am so pleased that birdies have finally infiltrated from my work to yours-this must be your new poem about your father and the sea. I'll take a look... And i do like to post as oftten as poss, just to keep you satisfied.
Strong material, Chrstf. I like 'beond the limits of the sensory.' Jolly good.
I like the parallel of logic and sensuality in this poem: careful description of sensual material thing and then giving it a mental sublimation. As the piece is a logical-knit, I think "Into eternity! line 3, comes too quick and the subsequent explanation ending with line 6 "Into memory" weakens the sense of eternity not strengthens it: as eternity is obviously more eternal
than memory. Otherwise, a perfect poetic incarnation.
I love the illusion this portrays or should I say "reality"? Such is the life of the tragic romantic.
i did turn it once. but got locked out.
A little jokey at the end don't you think? Otherwise quite good. There's a lot you can do with pianos.
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