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NIGHTMILK SUNBLOOD (Free verse) by horus8
When the sun falls down, and the night gathers once again its stilling cold embrace. The slow frost blow-touch Mr. Blue Collar snores fast asleep. Mingling with the only true relaxation that his present life gets. Dark catnaps in the middle of harvest. Crop circles writing the rye fields. The Ergot Prince reeks raging pestilence. Greek ancestors warrant this theory. My minister strolls amongst the shadows. Newspaper tucked securely underarm. Sunglasses boosting morale. His boyfriend waits graciously. Palms moist anticipating his gentle lord. Who will soon grow bored enough. Enough to fetch another. Here comes a raised orb Show light on bitter pinched faces These slumbering sinners But I am awake forever Coupling the pages so tart and bitter. See them upon that day of rest? Shaking hands Smiling cheeks all flush Can you smell the sweat upon their chests? Feel the sheets soaking up our love? Hearing the rich choruses droop from above Nightmilk sunblood lust odd Just drown like the kitten I killed at five. Kite strung its purr neck Bye bye Ebony Fly high! Pruned the rose bush Fingers knowing her insides. Knees, getting it on her mud. Sunset smooths against my features Tugging at my wrinkle less guesses Darkening my hair & upping her dresses Filling solid lungs with sweet aroma Crying feast, and children carving squash Blasts of color I fall back, then through and in.

Up the ladder: California triolets

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 72
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.. 21
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.. 00
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.. 00
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.. 11
.. 11

Arithmetic Mean: 7.263158
Weighted score: 7.1558256
Overall Rank: 17
Posted: August 7, 2002 4:19 PM PDT; Last modified: October 9, 2003 9:08 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.6.73.67 | 7-Aug-02/4:26 PM | Reply
supern
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.6.73.67 | 7-Aug-02/4:26 PM | Reply
lovelyt
[10] razorgrin @ 142.166.109.58 | 7-Aug-02/4:31 PM | Reply
this is really good.Damn good.
[7] New Life Drug @ 64.175.37.221 | 9-Aug-02/5:26 PM | Reply
Awesome horus. As usual
[n/a] horus8 @ | 9-Aug-02/5:45 PM | Reply
they have yet to bestow me with my well deserved laureateship...i must not slip and fall on top of the deans wife again..i am so close to nothing now that i can almost disengage machismo..no no no ..suck it in father i have sinned i have sinned by ending up just like you..thank you pharmaceutical boy (otep) for your kind words, but my father flannigan is beyond all perdition..we can never forgive him, but i must forgive myself..yes and touch the oil to my head and make the sign of the cross...yes oil..my head..the cross..the.....good boy smiles fangs and grows nails to perch to roost to phallic the name of.-----.shhhhhhh. pray to gozerh
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 13-Aug-02/12:34 PM | Reply
Would someone who came all over this poeme tell me what they thought was good about it? I thought the "flow" of the words was "good", but if there is a non-literal message to be found then I haven't found it. Unless it's "what has the world come to; it used to be magical and special but now it's not."
[n/a] horus8 @ | 13-Aug-02/1:45 PM | Reply
how long has it been since you've voted? rebel! oh bringer of the uncooth hand shake i am your vanilla wrist.and you're right. exactly. but the inspiration came from much much more..i was stripping at this gay club called the wild goose in gross point, mich. (19yrld) this high ranking priest (from a religious school across the river in windsor) would visit often..for lap dances..we got to be friends, and i borrowed some money to visit my "dying grandma in vegas". 9,000$. i never went back.he kept the waterbed. i lived with my aunt in vegas and framed houses i will never live in. my skin grew very dark muscles sculpted hair long like judas.. yes i sin. i took the silver.. bluecollar suburban shaman i've touched the nape of juno's peacock, and folded into "that which is isn't that which can undo what's done" forgive me.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 13-Aug-02/8:25 PM | Reply
Anyone can make up a story and tell themselves it has meaning.
[n/a] horus8 @ | 13-Aug-02/8:42 PM | Reply
listen..for the love of jesu'..i know i make alot of shit up, but i'm being on the level with you. the poem was inspired by that previously mentioned media clip (strip bar priest). it's all true. my grandma died (lung cancer). the kids were cutting pumpkins for halloween(my cousins) and i lived with my aunt in vegas for almost a year(i was on the lam for stealing a shipment of seventeen big screen tvs in Mi.) i am an honest story teller, a lying poet, but an honest story teller. i am not a richard farina, not yet. there is nothing wrong with this poem bastardette it's an honest day work.s
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.135.223 | 17-Sep-02/7:56 AM | Reply
Jesus Christ! An abudance of imaginative expression. It's difficult to leave you comments. I'm usually overwhelmed by your imagery and the accuracy of your observation. This one especially.
[10] Lenore @ 64.252.101.175 | 17-Sep-02/11:51 AM | Reply
I thought the message was pretty clear. Christianity is the bane of humanity. 10!
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > Lenore | 17-Sep-02/12:20 PM | Reply
being observant will get you everywhere....and yes i do care!..cheers.
[9] royalflesh @ 67.115.84.106 | 17-Sep-02/2:53 PM | Reply
truely an ill-kissed reality. My chest pounds through your pure talent to write and aches with desire - to have half your ability and elevated reality of truth. 9
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > royalflesh | 18-Sep-02/1:14 AM | Reply
i'm gracious..your words are kind and soothing..i hope.
[9] Christof @ 217.44.77.132 | 9-Oct-03/9:49 AM | Reply
Yep, this comes through loud and clear and passionate. Woof!
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 9-Oct-03/5:01 PM | Reply

Some lovely images here including the kitten bit (confusing though with drowning and kite string -
maybe just the effects of the rye and ergot fungus?)

at the start, can you do something with "sun falls down" - where else might it fall? Up?

"frost blow-touch" is noteable; nice.

I'm not going to pretend to understand about a quarter of it, but it has a nice flow nonetheless, so I'll just go along for the ride.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > Shuushin | 9-Oct-03/7:20 PM | Reply
The cats been drowned then kited away, as for the sun falling down? that's what it did. thank you.
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > horus8 | 9-Oct-03/7:49 PM | Reply
ahh - I see now "Fly high!"; got it. I'm such a dope sometimes.

And yes, of course it did. You were there, I wasn't. 'welcome.
[n/a] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 | 10-Oct-03/4:43 AM | Reply
I think Darky is right on the money with this one. Each verse seems to take the reader off to a new place...without ever returning...it all seems so disjointed. However, the imagery and harmonic flow is outstanding. Then again, I could be an idiot and you a genius... I continue to be amused and somewhat perplexed by our preoccupation with religion...particularly the rancid descriptions of christian worship that dwell on this website. I wonder what lies at the bottom of this perverted preoccupation. With all there is to talk about..why..why..why... -10- for style -3- for substance... Remember....Starkist likes tunas that taste good not tunas with good taste.
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 | 10-Oct-03/9:02 AM | Reply
In parts a similar vein to Tintagiles stuff - that can't be bad.

Lose the line about the blue collar sleeps as only we who know you know that.

Ahh unless of course your pajamas have blue lapelles - but you strike me as going 'commando' when u sleep.

Just don't ask me why i think these disturbing thoughts.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > Caducus | 10-Oct-03/11:32 AM | Reply
Mr. Blue collar is actually a third person representation of my father and uncles. I've never held a 9-5 job longer then a week. I'm the minister's boyfriend.
[8] dancin_n_da_moonlite @ 66.28.32.66 | 6-Apr-05/10:01 AM | Reply
you have the unnerving habit of writing poems twice the length they need to be,

have you considered seeing the dali exhibit in philly?
[10] hobojo @ 71.198.25.165 | 5-Sep-07/5:19 PM | Reply
In all of my artistic endeavors, art, music, cooking, and writing, I do so for myself. It is an outlet, it cleanses my emotions, it teaches me something new, and it results in a creation. If someone else enjoys and benefits, wonderful. Ignore him.

I enjoyed this more than most of what I have read on this site.
[1] Engelbert Humpalot @ 85.211.244.15 | 8-Oct-07/6:58 AM | Reply
Longwinded.
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