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Seasonal Lover (Free verse) by amateurR
On that first day of Fall In the year nineteen ninety nine I still remember- I was yours and you were mine. What happened in the Spring Of Y2K? I was still here- You were gone away. Come Summer And you decided To crawl back into to my life And into my bed. And in the Winter When I needed you most I celebrated Christmas With wine and pork roast. As unfaithful as nature is With her seasons- She's better off than you, At least she's got reasons!

Down the ladder: the dance

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.5714285
Weighted score: 4.3468566
Overall Rank: 13057
Posted: September 18, 2002 9:11 PM PDT; Last modified: September 18, 2002 9:11 PM PDT
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Comments:
[3] god'swife @ 209.179.134.108 | 18-Sep-02/11:23 PM | Reply
Nature is unfaithful? to the seasons? That's absurd, she returns each year at the designated hour. Use an analogy that works.
[n/a] amateurR @ 155.48.90.201 > god'swife | 19-Sep-02/2:14 PM | Reply
what i was trying to say is nature changes her seasons every 3-4 months and is unfaithful in that sense that she doesn't stick to one, but what you're saying makes perfect sense. I will look into revising it, thanx for the constructive advice. Please look at my other poems and tell me what you think, I'd appreciate it.
Thank you once again.
[3] god'swife @ 209.178.176.197 > amateurR | 19-Sep-02/4:24 PM | Reply
Is there a word for going away and coming back? Would fickle due?
[7] PhSbLoNdE569 @ 205.188.208.105 | 5-Mar-04/4:16 PM | Reply
didnt quite understand that... buti liked it
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