Re: whilst the bells ring by richa	1-Oct-02/11:26 AM
Fuck yes! S4 is briliant. Simple. "The scythe of the bells" is unique and has a lovely sound. Please help loneshadow out. He's got the will but lacks only the tools. Lend him some of yours please. You are a fine craftsman.
Re: Fall from Love's Grace by loneshadow29	1-Oct-02/12:13 PM
Take the ands out. Take the ofs out. Take the thats out. "Oh god her smile" is what I'm looking for. It's working. Go to it.
Re: Fall from Love's Grace by loneshadow29	1-Oct-02/1:41 PM
It's definitely an improvement. It's like anything else. You have to keep practicing. This may be your form of expression or it may not. try other releases as well. who knows you might be a dancer. You're admirably determined. it's not an overnight thing. Get intosicated and write down every word that enters you.
Re: The Phoebe Snow by horus8	1-Oct-02/2:45 PM
50% of what you write goes sweeping past my head. Like the B2, I can't hear it til long after. I will ruminate.
Re: Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus	2-Oct-02/8:04 AM
I voted last night but was to tired to comment. Excellent. Cuts to the quick. I'd love to see a whole series of these illuminating both sides of this bitter greedy coin.
Re: Poem #5 (of a series of poems for Boo) by Owner of the Sky	2-Oct-02/8:11 AM
I feel good after reading this. Quiet and sweet. The image "death in autumn" is slightly off. Autumn is an active part of the cycle, winter is death. I see the relationship between the leaves falling, but the tree has not gone dormant, everythings waking up after summer. Maybe I'm too particular. Lets see waht others think. All in all a lovely poem.
Re: Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus	2-Oct-02/8:13 AM
I also wanted to mention Line C loses it's sting because it doesbn't have the flow of the others. Maybe you could switch the grammer around a bit to unstop it.
Re: The Cross Foxes by Gwyrfab	2-Oct-02/8:34 AM
This has the feel of something old and timeless and traditional. It takes talent to accomplish that.
Re: Local Boy Makes Good by Gwyrfab	2-Oct-02/8:38 AM
I am a great friend of Jesus'. He told me to tell you your poem makes him smile.
Re: An Agenda by INTRANSIT	2-Oct-02/8:44 AM
I'm gettign lost. "Wetness finishing"? No entiendo?
Re: Entropy by knickytoy	2-Oct-02/8:46 AM
okay.
Re: Why? by martysmiles	2-Oct-02/8:50 AM
Falls flat on it's face.
Re: Velvetted by knickytoy	2-Oct-02/9:07 AM
Well peaches, somehow I overlooked this one. "didn't even bleed " threw me off a bit, but the title helped. Very clever. The last 3 lines are beautiful.
Re: Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus	8-Oct-02/10:35 AM
You're a nut. An insightful articulate nut.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Oct-02/10:38 AM
Cliche. Try not to make yourself look like such a boob. It bores people.
Re: Charlottesville by New Life Drug	8-Oct-02/11:21 AM
You know this is a poignant scene and you have a couple of lines that work , torn like lightening is good. and S2 is enjoyable intil the last line. Too much like a journal entry too little like a poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Oct-02/11:34 AM
This is exactly the kind of poem I hate. By the way, Mars is never merciful. Enless you mean a quick an merciful death. I can't tell what you mean. There's too much sauce on this bird.
Re: Down Home by <~>	8-Oct-02/11:56 AM
A gem. Your prettiest I think. I love everything about this poem, beginning, middle and end.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Oct-02/12:38 PM
I remeber reading this, what, two weeks ago? It was no where near as good as I remember. Is it my mood or did you edit this? So much clearer.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Oct-02/12:54 PM
You are the kind I'm looking for. Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia, executing the man he saved from the desert. Only better. Do I own that kind of couragous love? I doubt it.