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Down Home (Free verse) by <~> Driving past
a sawn-sided shack
with red roof running
down fast and sloping out
like the weather cut it into
the hushed green hillside, I think of
how warm and yellow the light will spill
from the window at twilight when the huge blue
deepens down the hollow, and night finally comes on home
Up the ladder:
Bon Voyage
Down the ladder:
Dumb Ideas
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.6153846
Posted: October 2, 2002 2:57 PM PDT; Last modified: October 2, 2002 2:57 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.911999 Overall Rank: 213 Comments:
[3]
DreamMachine @ 66.212.78.246
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2-Oct-02/5:34 PM
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Reply
A sawn-sided shack? A hillside? :::Starts singing..., " Over the river and through the woods to Grandma's House we go...::: Ok but still needs some work man...I don't like to be left hanging and I felt that it was missing something. 3
Ireally like how the words make a hillside!
A different colour with every line - the effects really accumulate - smashing
I'm always a sucker for poems where the form is linked to the meaning. Dylan Thomas wrote a poem called 'Vision and Prayer' where the stanzas are in diamond and hourglass shapes.
Nicholas, as p&k has pointed out, i am 'the writer of triangle poems'. may i suggest you read my poems 'diminishing' and 'love song'? thanks, z
Ninoy_Instigator deletes comments, in caase anyone cares/
that's like hosing off the <concrete> in my book...my book of 'opening squares' for you.h
A gem. Your prettiest I think. I love everything about this poem, beginning, middle and end.
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