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Poem #5 (of a series of poems for Boo) (Free verse) by Owner of the Sky Everyday, I walk as if in water;
And my words are trapped in bubbles,
Floating upwards, forever without end,
But always failing to reach you.
I want to grab your smile,
Filter it through the dying leaves,
Through the first promise
Of death in autum,
To marry it to the earth
So that the whole world can know you,
Can know what it feels
To be touched by you.
Up the ladder:
Spellbound
Down the ladder:
Suburbia in December
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.125
Posted: October 2, 2002 12:06 AM PDT; Last modified: October 2, 2002 12:06 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.302559 Overall Rank: 3662 Comments:
[8]
god'swife @ 209.179.135.231
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2-Oct-02/8:11 AM
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Reply
I feel good after reading this. Quiet and sweet. The image "death in autumn" is slightly off. Autumn is an active part of the cycle, winter is death. I see the relationship between the leaves falling, but the tree has not gone dormant, everythings waking up after summer. Maybe I'm too particular. Lets see waht others think. All in all a lovely poem.
[n/a]
Owner of the Sky @ 61.9.0.98
> god'swife
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2-Oct-02/11:34 AM
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Reply
Hi, I guess the whole concept of autumn escapes me altogether. I am in Asia so the 4 seasons cycle is alien to me. I am however, in love with autumn I see it in movies and it's so beautiful. If you notice I said "first promise of death in autumn" cause from what I understand, death begins when leaves start to fall. I was aiming for it to mean the death of leaves, which would justify "smile" (which means the sunshine of my lover's smile bla bla) being filtered through the leaves' death. Oh darnit. I am lost. Never mind eh? Thanks for the lovely comments!
Lovely, just one typo- 'autumn'. I like the last four lines especially.
Thanks for the comments C! :o) I did mispell 'autumn'; thanks for pointing it out. That's what I get for not hitting "spell check." *grin*
fiddling casper again are we? Shit!...my tater-tots are burning i gotta go..i'll be right back...singed scrotismal sac. asia? is a state of mind..rewind your videos damnit...rewind!t
I like this, it's very refreshing.
I don't want to be touched by Boo.
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