poemranker ::Poem #5 (of a series of poems for Boo) by Owner of the Sky

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Free verse № 18416

Poem #5 (of a series of poems for Boo)

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Oct 2002 · 7 comments

Everyday, I walk as if in water; And my words are trapped in bubbles, Floating upwards, forever without end, But always failing to reach you. I want to grab your smile, Filter it through the dying leaves, Through the first promise Of death in autum, To marry it to the earth So that the whole world can know you, Can know what it feels To be touched by you.

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mean 6.13 weighted 5.30 rank 3659 views 145 View voting details →

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7 comments

[8] god'swife 2-Oct-02/8:11 AM Reply
I feel good after reading this. Quiet and sweet. The image "death in autumn" is slightly off. Autumn is an active part of the cycle, winter is death. I see the relationship between the leaves falling, but the tree has not gone dormant, everythings waking up after summer. Maybe I'm too particular. Lets see waht others think. All in all a lovely poem.
[n/a] Owner of the Sky › god'swife 2-Oct-02/11:34 AM Reply
Hi, I guess the whole concept of autumn escapes me altogether. I am in Asia so the 4 seasons cycle is alien to me. I am however, in love with autumn I see it in movies and it's so beautiful. If you notice I said "first promise of death in autumn" cause from what I understand, death begins when leaves start to fall. I was aiming for it to mean the death of leaves, which would justify "smile" (which means the sunshine of my lover's smile bla bla) being filtered through the leaves' death. Oh darnit. I am lost. Never mind eh? Thanks for the lovely comments!
[8] Christof 2-Oct-02/8:15 AM Reply
Lovely, just one typo- 'autumn'. I like the last four lines especially.
[n/a] Owner of the Sky › Christof 2-Oct-02/11:36 AM Reply
Thanks for the comments C! :o) I did mispell 'autumn'; thanks for pointing it out. That's what I get for not hitting "spell check." *grin*
[6] <{Baba^Yaga}> 2-Oct-02/1:51 PM Reply
fiddling casper again are we? Shit!...my tater-tots are burning i gotta go..i'll be right back...singed scrotismal sac. asia? is a state of mind..rewind your videos damnit...rewind!t
[7] limonade 12-Oct-02/2:47 PM Reply
I like this, it's very refreshing.
[n/a] Goad 23-Jan-04/4:26 PM Reply
I don't want to be touched by Boo.