Re: The primates fate (chrystal ball foot switch) by Bachus	24-Oct-02/11:00 PM
Fate is a relic. Why do I keep having to repeat myself? I wish I was a monkey with loads of lice you could pick off my head. Then I'd suck your cock and we'd both be happy. La de da. When's the blond lady coming with the chow and the vitamin tabs? I want them to dress mee up in a sequins dress and a fright wig. You can wear a trench-coat and a fedora. We'll rollerskate around the stage and everyone will get their money's worth.
Re: Living Conditions by Christof	25-Oct-02/7:38 AM
I love he ending it makes this poem meaningful. 'Blind slope' also wonderful.
Re: Good Love by w~* ATHENA *~w	25-Oct-02/2:25 PM
Off with your head! Cheap tramp, rhyming love with above, is crime in these here parts. Get out of town Foxy Brown. "The lucky ones...' deserves better then that stalest of intros. Go away and come back when your ready. On your marks. Get set...
Re: dream dream dream dream dream by nentwined	25-Oct-02/2:46 PM
I kinda get it.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-02/9:18 PM
You're right. We never were lover's. The boy's I've loved know little about myth. I am as close as they've come to it. And they don't read, as a rule. Sweet heathens. It doesn't matter how it's spelled. All that matters is the fact that you've been given the priveldge and the desire to learn. One of the few things noone can take away from you. I like your poem, for many reasons. It carries on a tradition. More important I think, than you realize. I'd like to see the first part married to a more customary tale. These stories belong to the people, and are based on truths that otherwise cannot be expressed. There are so many who are ignorant of these stories. To me they are sacred.
Re: still, i am her by daniella	26-Oct-02/9:27 PM
I don't know exactly what your talking about, but I know I like the way you say it. ' A mother is but one' that was the vision I had when I found out I was to be one. Difficult to write about. 'Did not ever prove it through" only works because I know what you're trying to say, but there has to be a better way to say it. The nine men are obscure enought o make me ignore them and move to the next idea. Planks? Suddenly I'm onboard and lost. Try again please. I want this clearer, if you can.
Re: Surpass the Dream by darkhelmet10	26-Oct-02/9:37 PM
First of all I'd like to say congradulations on falling in love for the first time. Your poem is young, considering the source it would be unusual if it weren't. The first rule you need to learn is, Don't tell me, show me. In other words, describe describe describe. To tell or depict. Were where you when you were scared. Lonely. HOW did she help. Literally. Don't make things up tell the truth in nauseating detail. Then you can learn how to transform it into poetry. Your poem is all skeleton. No flesh.
Re: True Love by darkhelmet10	26-Oct-02/9:42 PM
you make this sound like a Margaret Mead account of aboriginal courting. Were's the love darling? Paradise indeed. Don't forget to were your seatbelt. Do you read poetry? If so, please tell me who.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-02/9:49 PM
Ummm. I'm trying to find a way to tell you how I feel about this without insulting you, but I can't. the only thing poetic about this might be the sentiment, but hten again most sentiment is poetic. The trick is expressing it artfully, and this fails.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-02/9:56 PM
Corny and predictable.
Re: A Story Book Tale by brazen	28-Oct-02/8:02 AM
What are you talking about? Love always lies, well it manipulates things anyway.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Oct-02/8:19 AM
'Many guys' is dreadful. You must be from California.
Re: A love of the midlands by ==Doylum	29-Oct-02/3:27 PM
Good God ==Doylum, are you ok?! Stand too close to the metro? I heard if someone has wings only on their right side it means they're gay. Is that true, or just a celestial legend? Must be a legend. I mean you don't have any parts right? But wait you told me you used to frabble to the tunes of Ms. Amos. What's going on? You have some explaining to do. Those wings are phony aren't they. Wing implants, humpf. When are you lads going to learn to love yourselves for who you are? You make baby Jesus cry.
Re: morning by kiki	29-Oct-02/11:35 PM
"Somebody's brother"?
Re: Her Name Is Stella by Tascobar	30-Oct-02/7:54 AM
I thought this poem was about "On the waterfront". Works for me.
Re: Consider The Dead by Bonehiss	30-Oct-02/8:34 AM
I don't dislike this poem, but it get's very cliche.
Re: In the Quiet of the Night a Tree Gently Shakes by Nicholas Jones	30-Oct-02/8:36 AM
Lovely.
Re: Jackanapes and smoke buttons by Bachus	30-Oct-02/8:40 AM
Beautiful.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Oct-02/8:57 AM
The last stanza is the best, as far as I'm concerned. With the bums begging for sleep. This poem works. You make this task of writing look easy, and we both know it is not. The tension between the protaganists longing and his inability to become intimate, to care, startle me with the accuracy. You make me weep.
Re: fading by PunchMeInTheFace	4-Nov-02/2:25 PM
I don't understand the title. Nothing here seems to be fading. Read your other 2, and I get the feeling your not jumping in. Just wandering around the perimeter. This is the strongest and most invested of the 3. I especially can relate to the last 2 lines, but somehow the last line feels overly dramatic in a cheesy sort of way.