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fading (Free verse) by PunchMeInTheFace We're enveloped by darkness
As daylight buckles, breaks, and fades
Under the weight of the rising moon.
I develop a false sense of security,
With the steady rhythm of your breath,
Of your heart.
Your presence is heavy.
I drown in your smell.
Why don't you to stay here a while?
(forever)
How can I sleep?
I'm living a dream.
Up the ladder:
coffee cup
Down the ladder:
The Blood-Stained Body
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.8888888
Posted: November 1, 2002 11:18 PM PST; Last modified: November 1, 2002 11:18 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.4444447 Overall Rank: 12904 Comments:
I don't understand the title. Nothing here seems to be fading. Read your other 2, and I get the feeling your not jumping in. Just wandering around the perimeter. This is the strongest and most invested of the 3. I especially can relate to the last 2 lines, but somehow the last line feels overly dramatic in a cheesy sort of way.
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(forever)"
arg.