Re: The Wooden Armchair Of Similar Dreams by Caducus	14-Nov-02/9:02 AM
There's a lot of wonderful language here I especially like "The derilict peace" that images I think is an important one, for me anyway. "Ensuring life and not existence" makes me say 'fuck'... but in a good way. Unfortunately my less favorite rhyme(love/above) is also found here. When ever I see the word above at the end of a line I know the word love is not far behind. Ha, I made a poe-m!
Re: Ode to the unwanted chip by deadstar	14-Nov-02/9:11 AM
This poem is somewhat stale. Ha ha, I'm funny. It made me smile so that's a good thing. it reminds if of how children feel sorry for inanimate objects. I used to sit on the wobbly chair at home because I knew no one else liked it and I didn't want it to fell left out. My son does the same thing with his toys, well he used to. He doesn't play with toys anymore(sigh). I think children would appreciate this effort.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Nov-02/3:47 PM
I read somewhere the average person farts 14 times per day. This poem is stinky.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Nov-02/4:34 PM
Sometimes a poem can make me kneel. My only strange complaint is in 'birdsong bounty' I want you to drop 'bounty', and 'flight'. What do you think?
Re: I Begged by abbaslittleclingon	17-Nov-02/4:18 PM
The whole beneath warm sand thing makes this less than it should be. ALso line 5 needs to be refinished. It starts out fine but the end fall short with the repetition of the word 'me'
Re: The beauty of a bird by mozac	18-Nov-02/12:16 PM
Thisis so not about the beauty of a bird. Expand on the image or change the title. Show us why you picked that title. Is there some comparison you forgot to make. Also, you need question marks.
Re: Boy I Know by Goose	18-Nov-02/12:24 PM
Yuo are discribing every ding-dong on this site. Including me, though I am feminine and old. Of course we do have one or two Phd.s hanging about, but they are expert in ideas and words. Hah. As if that where something worthwhile. They can't fill a cavity or a prescription. They can come at you with words,and words and even more words. No cure. Quite the contrary, they breed schizophrenia in this weak culture of ours. Subversives. Spending untold thousands just to toss around the acedemic ball. You're friend has promised nothing, and owes nothing. It's 'too' not 'to' in line 7. Your poem smacks of judgement, and righteuos indignation, Pee-you
regarding some deleted poem...	18-Nov-02/12:30 PM
I like your style, but unfortunately your story lacks authenticity. You made this comepletely up didn't you? It has been my experience that Latinos would much prefer to sit in the dark then give up their gold. Especially a crucifix for God's sake. The line about the nice Jewish boy is a gem to be certain. But again this seems too far-fetched.
Re: Bloody Sonner by The Eskimo King	18-Nov-02/12:52 PM
Your hemmorrhaging all over the place. Nurse, this poet needs more suction. I can't see what the bloody hell he's talking about.
Re: I Stand Mesmerized by abbaslittleclingon	18-Nov-02/12:58 PM
Look everyone! It's Rod McKuen meets Ansel Adams. I bet your parents bought you lessons in eloquetion(sp?). You always refused to take of the toga and laurel wreath at the end of class.
Re: I Hear My Name Called Again and Again by abbaslittleclingon	18-Nov-02/1:35 PM
Typos a plenty. Not to mention searing waves??? I believe you lifted this from some silent movie.
Re: Wind Whisper by abbaslittleclingon	18-Nov-02/1:41 PM
Not bad. Antiquiated, but it the rythmn doesn;t detract from the sense of it. Or in ohter words you managed it without having to revert to silly sentences.
Re: "Why would I need to get in touch with you?" by Limness	18-Nov-02/1:45 PM
Too anorexic. I think 'The weight of those words" would add some much needed direction. Also try title in qoutes. What do you think?
Re: The Social Muse by w~* ATHENA *~w	18-Nov-02/11:59 PM
The last stanza is sheer brillance. The rest is sadly tainted by the grammartical fart at the end of L3 S2. Rework that and you'll have 10s up to your _____ (insert body part here) I'd say boobies but i'm not quite sure how tall you are. So I'll say pelvic mound.
Re: Litany of the Mullet by Shin-Bojangles	19-Nov-02/12:08 AM
"There's only one choice." would have ended this better. Otherwise puerile as ever.
Re: Sisters in Disquise by confuzdlilgirl	19-Nov-02/12:14 AM
If I was your friend, I would never let you go out wearing this poem. It makes you look fat, and kinda stupid. O.K., really stupid.
Re: All is Just a Crush by confuzdlilgirl	19-Nov-02/12:20 AM
"For one to own the feel of being free" is worht the effort. Trudge on. You're young yet. You need an intelligent scarf to wear with those butt-huggers. Take a vow of silence. It works. No cell phone, no radio. No gum smacking trance music girls gone crazy.
Re: A lighthouse by emilyowey	19-Nov-02/12:34 AM
Let not mine eyes gaze upon this putried assemblage. My life is a suasage link and you, you are the pancake. I'm drawn to your butter and imitation maple syrup. Guide me home again Into the security of a carbohydrate blanket. An elevated glucose level shines behind your eyes. Oh House of Lite Pancakes Close not the kitchen. I am drawn to you. I am drawn to the fork and knife.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Nov-02/11:32 AM
Dainty and beautiful. I wonder about the last line, isn't it abides IN? How does someting abide loss? Please explain.
Re: Dad by Someone	19-Nov-02/11:38 AM
Get rid of the rhetorical questions. They add nothing except making you sound pitiful, which is very uninteresting. Your problem is interesting, so I'll take this scrap heap and write a poem about it for you later this afternoon.