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All is Just a Crush (Sonnet) by confuzdlilgirl Is love alike a path of brush we find??
A road it seems goes on to endless view
Mists of truth and light of charm combine
Impulse to lay a path with someone new
A time where boulders come within the way
Where truth's deceived in what we wish to see
When spoken words direct where one will lay
For one to own the feel of being free
The warmth inside to which we all adore
A new sense is now intensified
Then grace and mystery fall to the floor
A sensation once present, now denied
Once thought this love could never fade like dust;
Knows love did fade and all was just a crush.
Up the ladder:
perversions 2: the revenge
Down the ladder:
Louder
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.3913045
Posted: November 18, 2002 7:07 PM PST; Last modified: November 18, 2002 7:07 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.3842664 Overall Rank: 3216 Comments:
[2]
god'swife @ 209.179.134.151
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19-Nov-02/12:20 AM
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Reply
"For one to own the feel of being free" is worht the effort. Trudge on. You're young yet. You need an intelligent scarf to wear with those butt-huggers. Take a vow of silence. It works. No cell phone, no radio. No gum smacking trance music girls gone crazy.
[n/a]
confuzdlilgirl @ 12.75.140.60
> god'swife
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19-Nov-02/4:13 PM
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Reply
THis sonnet i wrote for english. we were assigned to compare love to something and modernize it into our version of SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY. i thought well he talks of eternal love but people these days always say they are in love then find that it was just a crush. many didnt get it, just a general idea. im just kinda speaking from where i like someone a lot in the beginning but it lasts only a while but i never say that im in love because i know it takes more. though some people say they are after only a week. and that is just not true, it takes more im my opinion.
unpleasantly bumpy rhythm and pretty incoherent too. ick.
asking just to improve but how is it bumy if its put in IP. we had ot have it in that form for the assignment. what do u mean by incoherent? please explain more. thankyou
Nice words, but they don't fit together all that well, which is why it feels incoherent and bumpy. I've never been that huge on IP, as a rule. but that's just me.
yea this sonnet was really hard to write. it doesnt make sense liek the general idea is hard to get i know, but we had certian rules we had to write by. and it was hard to write it in IP.
Quite brilliant. Beautifully composed
Very Good Description Of Feelings.
L2 has nine beats instead of 10.
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