regarding some deleted poem...	7-Nov-02/9:58 AM
Leave it 'close to', it is more orginal and sounds more personal. 'Ballerina-like' bothers me. I would just as rather you say 'Ballerina in the breeze' or 'My ballerina in the breeze' The image would not conjure her dressed in a tutu. I think the implication is a given.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-02/12:52 AM
My dear child, you are the diamond. Such a well constructed composition for someone so young, hell for anyone. I am struck by your ability to weave the thread of bees and wasps. Also the cleaning shit thing, very wise.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-02/1:24 AM
Your lover reminds me of me. Your poem, of the incessant need. Very well written. I get a realistic picture, I like that.
Re: Our New Tongue by Christof	8-Nov-02/1:36 AM
I should have given this a ten. So I will.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Nov-02/12:45 AM
The mood of this poem seems in conflict with the amount of language. I get the feeling you could sway the mob with the tone of your voice. I think I want a more anorexic poem, like your tree, and your ghost.
Re: An ode to my sugar daddy, but in haiku by horus8	13-Nov-02/1:06 AM
No matter how new the tractor, it still looks old. You don't need a gym membership, your skin will pop. The thing I love best about your poems (and you) is that there is no illusion more fantastic than the truth.
Re: licking my tongue by w~* ATHENA *~w	13-Nov-02/1:08 AM
Best so far.
Re: without music by Limness	13-Nov-02/1:14 AM
Needs work but fantastic at the end.
Re: the pot collected water when it hid us from the rain by kiki	13-Nov-02/1:41 AM
I think your poems are awful and completely inaccessible. Other than that I think you're a self-centered inconsiderate creep.
Re: Surreal... by Yardbird	13-Nov-02/1:50 AM
You made me laugh. Especially 'So long as elephants...' Use your brains for something I prefer, like and ode to depleted uranium. Thank you in advance.
Re: L.O.V.E. by bxjay170	13-Nov-02/1:53 AM
I'm suprised you can write. Or did someome at church submit this for you?
Re: Ode to a Depleted Uranium Shell by Yardbird	13-Nov-02/9:24 AM
Thank you! It is very sweet of you to answer my request. I don' get the visual of 'simmer with mirth' but that is my only criticism. If you did a bit of research a bet you could come up with a real killer, ha ha. Now when I look up DU on the web your poem will come up along with 100,000 other sites. You should be proud.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Nov-02/9:54 AM
I know you've been waiting for me to comment on your poems, and I have looked at them but couldn't figure out exactly how I feel about them. There are things I like, like the '6 rings...' in this poem but overall the bushes need trimming. You seem tied to rhyming, which makes you use sentences that are not necessary to move the idea forward. For example the 3rd line in the 1st stanza. should it be 'I am diseased' rather than disease? The last line would work better, I think.
Re: Today by INTRANSIT	13-Nov-02/10:14 AM
You are the pain, or you are in pain? why must we all suffer?
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Nov-02/11:59 AM
This is awesome. To me you are speaking to Christ. It does not matter if you intended it so. To me it speaks of my struggle. Excellent. Though 'two wrists' sounds redundant, in a way,could it be each wrist?
Re: Colony by <{Baba^Yaga}>	13-Nov-02/1:11 PM
Squaw is mis-spelled and so is buffalo. You're a great writer, poetry, comments, confessions. I mean it.
Re: The Real You by jonny2000	13-Nov-02/2:16 PM
So your 12. Fantastic your poem needs a little help, but I can't imagine my son writing anything close so I'll give you 4 for the poem and 3 for having the courage to write poetry. Post some more. The second line seems to have a typo, or did you mean to leave the 's' off of think and he? Try writing this without having to rhyme. I'm curious to see what that looks like.
Re: The Land of Back-to-Front by [mojo]	13-Nov-02/4:58 PM
Wonderful, I can't think of any flaws except minor typos. Very cheery. I like nonsense.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Nov-02/5:02 PM
You opened your eyes before you got to 100. No fair, start over. Go back in there and write the rest of this poem please. Be specific. What makes you wonder?
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Nov-02/5:06 PM
Bleh. It's time foryou to whip out the shakespeare during P.E. Tell the teacher you've had an inspiration and can't be bothered with push-ups or running 4 times around the track. Also socrates is waiting for you under the tree at lunch time. Pick him up and dust him off. Have you read The Little Prince?