regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/3:22 PM
cute. I think you should build something bigger with it (ifn't you gonna call it a lyric)
Re: Puritans by zodiac	20-Mar-04/6:14 PM
Meaning aside - which is fine, the flow of this is a few extra words past something that I might like very much. It has a musical flow to it that I often strive for. But I'm not thrilled with some of the simple descriptors and imagery - while the cadence is melodic, the language is uncomfortable. Does that make sense? windy warm formidable long and tenderly - could do without those, in particular.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/6:17 PM
I was thinking this could make a good ghazal.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Mar-04/6:18 PM
what is this a glosa _of_?
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-04/7:44 PM
I like the thought behind this - I'm going to suggest a word change - and its pretty ironic too, considering what I just posted (and zodiacs love of it) - funny thing is I would suggest the same regardless of what I posted.. anyway... consider changing "clothes" to "adorns" - both for the word choice and also for the aliteration. I like "imagining" there.
Re: Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/8:54 AM
nothin says lovin' like a limerick.
Re: Ramblings of Senility by Lifeboatman	22-Mar-04/7:25 PM
Nicely constructed, nicely done.
Re: urge purged by caffrey	22-Mar-04/7:29 PM
I don't "get" the last stanza, but I like the rest quite a bit. I hangs just on that edge of tongue-in-cheek. works for me.
Re: Zin by caffrey	22-Mar-04/7:30 PM
no. Sorry. Too much poetry, not enough profundity.
Re: My reflection by singinkygal	22-Mar-04/7:57 PM
I'm going to echo caffrey - but elaborate by saying the “too many” words are precisely the ones you've put in to sound like “poetry”. Here's a test - take out the rhyming words - does the meaning change? If it doesn't - why have them? You word choices should add value. You've got shattered twice, btw - and five "t"'s between them. And my pet peeve, extraneous prepositional phrases. Try not to trade meaning for rhyme – what you are trying to convey (the idea of which I like, btw) is complicated enough as it is – focus on that. Maybe, as an exercise, make the same poem without rhyming?
Re: Dissenting voice by richa	23-Mar-04/8:09 AM
"Kivi veereb"? I like this one quite a bit - do we need the last line?
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Mar-04/10:49 AM
try it on poemosrankeros.com
Re: Sitting in a damp refrigerator box, wondering (ODE) Basque by zodiac	23-Mar-04/11:04 AM
glosa?
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Mar-04/5:03 PM
Spongebob would be proud.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Mar-04/6:19 PM
yet time has not forgotten, soft cotton
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Mar-04/6:28 AM
What's this about? Conistoga wagons, colony trade? Feels short.
Re: Style / Ffordd by Nicholas Jones	25-Mar-04/6:30 AM
While you wait for Godot, I wait for poetry. Actually, this makes a solid point... if only it were SPANISH, well then - ooo that would be sumfin.
Re: Misplaced Life by Richard	25-Mar-04/6:32 AM
"You, a new flavor expanding Across my windshield." Richard, for this kind of [sadly very common] subject matter it needs to really stand out to, well, stand out. Some good imagery here, but not truly striking.
Re: I'm Alive! by sonawrote	25-Mar-04/6:34 AM
Hey - not a bad hook. Could make a good song.
Re: Reunion by syrusstone	25-Mar-04/6:36 AM
hmmmm.... some line breaks would give this a better flow. Some fresh thoughts on a pretty common theme.