poemranker ::Poetry in action by Bobjim

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Free verse № 94664

Poetry in action

by Bobjim

Member since 2002 · Posted 22 Mar 2004 · 30 comments

There lives near the edge of a town, A girl who I've never seen frown, Her beauty unequalled, There can be no sequel, So, will you go out with me now?

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30 comments

[9] poemwanker 22-Mar-04/7:53 AM Reply
You know, alcohol works just as well.

There lives near the home of this dude
A girl who I've never seen nude
Her dress sense is blessed
But I wish she'd wear less
Right, fuck this, I'm off for some food

Cheerio old boy
[n/a] Bobjim › poemwanker 22-Mar-04/8:47 AM Reply
That's scarily similar to the first version. But I decided to actually use this on someone, so I modified it a bit.
[8] Shuushin 22-Mar-04/8:54 AM Reply
nothin says lovin' like a limerick.
[n/a] Bobjim › Shuushin 22-Mar-04/9:07 AM Reply
Technically it's not a limerick. Limericks have one less syllable in the 3rd and 4th lines.
[8] zodiac › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/9:24 AM Reply
Not true.
[n/a] Bobjim › zodiac 22-Mar-04/9:43 AM Reply
Syllables in: a limerick my poem
8 8
8 8
5 6
5 6
8 8
[8] zodiac › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/9:51 AM Reply
No. If the extra syllable is a two-syllable end-word, it works fine. For example, iambic pentameter is usually defined as ten syllables in an accented-unaccented scheme. But the best, most consistent pentameter writers (Pope comes to mind, and Shakespeare) often add an extra unaccented syllable on the end, as in the first line of Othello, "Tush! ne'er tell me; I take it much unkindly."

The real test will be to take it to an Irish pub, get smashed on pints of warm Guinness, and recite it very loudly. I can assure you it will work.
[n/a] Bobjim › zodiac 22-Mar-04/9:59 AM Reply
Who said any of it was unaccented. I like the last bit though, but I think I'll go to my local instead of an Irish pub.
[8] zodiac › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/2:54 PM Reply
There LIVES / near the EDGE / of a TOWN,
A GIRL / who I've NE / ver seen FROWN,
Her BEAU / ty un EQualled,
There CAN / be no SEquel,
So, WILL you go OUT / with me NOW? -- feet made of two unaccented syllables followed by an accented syllable are called anapests.

The following is a well-known limerick by Edward Lear. It not only adds extra syllables to 3 & 4 (like yours) but also to 1, 2, & 5:

"There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour;
For while he was able,
He slept on a table,
Until he found water beds wavier."

Edward Lear is, by the way, the most famous and prolific limericist ever.
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 22-Mar-04/10:38 AM Reply
thats the sorriest definition of iambic or pentameter I've ever heard.
[8] zodiac › Shuushin 22-Mar-04/2:43 PM Reply
Ten syllables = 5 feet of iambs, which are one unaccented followed by one accented syllable, i.e., but SOFT / what LIGHT / through YON / der WIN / dow BREAKS. Don't fuck with me on this.
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 22-Mar-04/5:29 PM Reply
Thats quite a different example/definition.

And if I want to fuck with you. I'll fuck with you, but that's just *way* too easy for my tastes.
[8] zodiac › Shuushin 22-Mar-04/6:02 PM Reply
Well, then. I hope you don't ever decide to really fuck with me. Friends now?

In Spanish, which really accents only either one or two syllables per phrase or sentence, the equivalent of iambic pentameter is called decasílabo (ie, ten syllables). Since Bobjim was talking about total syllable counts instead of feet-counts, I was trying to include that aspect. But I do know what English iambic pentameter is. Really. I swear.
[8] Shuushin › zodiac 22-Mar-04/6:17 PM Reply
Never anything but.
[n/a] Bobjim › zodiac 24-Mar-04/9:10 AM Reply
I know what you're up to you know. You're trying to confuse me with big words, well it won't work, I have a dictionary.

Now, if only I could read...
[8] zodiac › Bobjim 24-Mar-04/9:22 AM Reply
I have a degree in Spanish Literature. Ask Shuushin.
[n/a] Bobjim › zodiac 24-Mar-04/9:26 AM Reply
What makes you think I'd trust Shuushin?
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 24-Mar-04/10:14 AM Reply
Yeah, I'd fuck him over in a second without even noticing.
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/10:36 AM Reply
Ah, most sorry to disagree - limericks have no syllable count, just 3 long lines and two short ones in an aabba format.
[n/a] Bobjim › Shuushin 22-Mar-04/11:44 AM Reply
The huge poetry poster in our english department agrees with me. I have every confidence in it's creator, and it makes me feel clever.
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/11:47 AM Reply
lol - I understand - no worries.
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 22-Mar-04/12:34 PM Reply
btw - what does he/she say is the correct count?
[n/a] Bobjim › Shuushin 24-Mar-04/9:06 AM Reply
Are you stupid? I give a syllable count, you disagree, I name the source. What do you think the poster said?
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 24-Mar-04/10:16 AM Reply
sorry, missed where the count was given. [shrug]

Maybe I am stupid - what was the question now?
[8] Shuushin › Shuushin 24-Mar-04/10:21 AM Reply
and when you said "poster" you meant a big page hanging on the wall, and not some person who posts?

Hey, I'm trying here.
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 24-Mar-04/10:19 AM Reply
oh! you mean, by saying,

"Limericks have one less syllable in the 3rd and 4th lines."

that they (3rd and 4th) have one less syllable than the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines?

so like

there once was (3)
man from nan (3)
bla bla (2)
bla bla (2)
you could suck (3)

like that?
[n/a] Bobjim › Shuushin 24-Mar-04/10:27 AM Reply
i like 3, that'll do
[n/a] Bobjim › Shuushin 24-Mar-04/10:26 AM Reply
no, i mean the list of numbers that comes a bit after
and you know it
[8] Shuushin › Bobjim 24-Mar-04/10:53 AM Reply
no seriously - I didn't notice! I'm going to re-read the thread now. Sheesh.
[8] Shuushin › Shuushin 24-Mar-04/10:55 AM Reply
OH THAT LIST. That a new one on me.

What is the name, etc. on this poster - I wanna look it up.

Is it from like a store?