regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-03/10:17 AM
two n's in perennial. Line 4 is combining two phrases that don't really belong together, is there a way you could locate "but failed to open" with the previous verse, and the "rich soil of it's birth" with the following verse without ruining the handsome shape of the poem? I liked the ending.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-03/10:19 AM
I liked the papercuts and stabbing, and the "love poems less about passion/ more about nothing." Good job.
Re: Day Of Reckoning by Kitch	12-Aug-03/10:24 AM
Could use a little more description and fewer of these undefineable constructs. Like, give an example of the suspicious partner's reaction to the narrator talking to someone else, rather than "And you class infidelity as even talking to someone, Do you think I’d just fuck the first girl who’d pout," Instead of asking the partner that question, say what the partner WOULD think, in the narrator's opinion.
Re: play to win by peaceseeker	12-Aug-03/7:52 PM
I like the way this bursts out, without any interrupting line breaks or unneccesary punctuation, like you said it all in one breath.
Re: midnight, on a weekday by peaceseeker	12-Aug-03/7:55 PM
I liked this part "I smoke, water resistant to your proposals to enter me and live your desire for a baby is transparent" but think it could use some punctuation or a line break (contrary to my last comment on your other poem) to make these (and others) distinct, separate phrases.
Re: Molecular Parasitology Nerdcore Rap by Retaliate	12-Aug-03/8:01 PM
Yeah, you're a nerd. "Bandgeek" wipes his poo-less ass with guys like you. It is kind of like Ben Fold's "Rockin the Suburbs"- he's one angry dwarf.
Re: The Musician by Carvaceous	12-Aug-03/8:04 PM
Seems incomplete, and a little redundant. What else about the musician and her? Tell her those calloused guitar player hands have "compromised" qualities in the sack.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Aug-03/8:09 PM
This is just begging for a re-explanation of your elusive screen name by supremedreamer.
Re: A quivering boob by horus8	13-Aug-03/7:55 PM
This is the ultimate betrayal, now that I know and love you I find that you just want to sever my quivering boob? (and why just one?) I, too, have this interest in breasts, but have directed it to a healthier outlet. (that is right, I am a lactation consultant)
Re: on your birthday by peaceseeker	13-Aug-03/7:58 PM
Use some word other than "precious" 2x. I would paranthesize "(not his birthday)". I hope your friend's bird-day was happy.
Re: The Lordy only knows why tornados have no nose by Bachus	13-Aug-03/8:03 PM
Why would anyone need 2 games of twister? I hate Twister, I always end up with my hand next to some kid's sweaty socked foot.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Aug-03/8:14 PM
1) "it is I, the troubled voyeur" (needs a comma) 2)overrides is one word I think this would be more effective if you didn't label the "retard" until the end when you make your statement "we're all freaks or retards", let your images show the reader what is wrong with him. Did you see the movie "Pumpkin"? You might enjoy its dark humor around this subject.
Re: why am i still thinking about blood? by Patsy	13-Aug-03/8:18 PM
I loved these lines. "i see the fresh PALM Pilots dashed whole from the Rock, i try not to look where they pile up."
Re: trying to cross the border to Sweetgrass by Patsy	13-Aug-03/8:20 PM
I like the repition of "under a".
Re: Twenty Cigarette Burns Ago by DurtKL	13-Aug-03/8:22 PM
I think that is beautiful, seriously.
Re: summer heat blues by peaceseeker	20-Aug-03/4:12 PM
All in one night? Jerry (Garcia) wanna be? I liked the "tickle" with "hermaphrodite pickle".
Re: play to win by peaceseeker	20-Aug-03/4:20 PM
Liked your revisions, I loved the "raped mouth" part. Some parts were hard to follow, though.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Aug-03/4:39 PM
I don't know if it is the topic (your "inspiration" by other poemranker poets) or the style (the dozens), but I don't think this should be your thing.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Aug-03/4:46 PM
What's to confront?
Re: The Better of the Sea by abecedarian	20-Aug-03/4:58 PM
I hope the narrator was doing something productive during his/her sailing time. Not just sailing because he/she is rich. What is the metaphor? Failing relationship?