poemranker ::Day Of Reckoning by Kitch

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Lyric № 60358

Day Of Reckoning

by Kitch

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Aug 2003 · Edited 13 Aug 2003 · 4 comments

Deep down I know we can’t last, Without trust this love won’t survive, I feel guilty for having a past, One day soon our fate will arrive. I dread that confrontation, For I know it will break us, But living a lie is degradation, And sleeping feelings will one day wake us. You never loved who I really was, Is it any wonder why I’m so clearly lost, You thought you could mould me, And I let you control me, Because I don’t even know who I am, Am I who I was ? Or your idea of a man? You’re so suspicious when I go out, And you class infidelity as even talking to someone, Do you think I’d just fuck the first girl who’d pout, Go back to her place and get it on? I’m so tired of living a lie, Pretending for the most part that everything’s fine, It seems with tears I have an endless supply, You want me caged but I want to shine. Well the dreaded day is beckoning, This will be our reckoning, You will hate me stronger than you loved me, And I will search for who I am.

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4 comments

[6] http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/10:24 AM Reply
Could use a little more description and fewer of these undefineable constructs. Like, give an example of the suspicious partner's reaction to the narrator talking to someone else, rather than "And you class infidelity as even talking to someone,
Do you think I’d just fuck the first girl who’d pout," Instead of asking the partner that question, say what the partner WOULD think, in the narrator's opinion.
[8] Bachus 13-Aug-03/1:39 PM Reply
It's good for you.
[9] LuckyJoe 13-Aug-03/3:41 PM Reply
mulberry is right with what they said. It does need a little work. I can't judge much though due to all my working sucking as of late. I can understand everything you're saying to well. I just got out of a relationship a few months ago that was just like what you wrote about. Felt the same way. -9- (Only because it brought back the memories I had once felt)
[3] jh99 2-Mar-10/5:00 AM Reply
Do you read these out loud after you write them ? There are so many " forced rhymes " and clichés that it's painful to read. I would suggest that you look at the lyrics of real songs like Lennon's " Jealous Guy " and Reed's " Endlessly Jealous " to see how you can say so much with so little. Think about metaphors, symbolism, and even using catch phrases to renew this write. As it is, needs a lot of work.