Replying to a comment on:

Day Of Reckoning (Lyric) by Kitch

Deep down I know we can’t last, Without trust this love won’t survive, I feel guilty for having a past, One day soon our fate will arrive. I dread that confrontation, For I know it will break us, But living a lie is degradation, And sleeping feelings will one day wake us. You never loved who I really was, Is it any wonder why I’m so clearly lost, You thought you could mould me, And I let you control me, Because I don’t even know who I am, Am I who I was ? Or your idea of a man? You’re so suspicious when I go out, And you class infidelity as even talking to someone, Do you think I’d just fuck the first girl who’d pout, Go back to her place and get it on? I’m so tired of living a lie, Pretending for the most part that everything’s fine, It seems with tears I have an endless supply, You want me caged but I want to shine. Well the dreaded day is beckoning, This will be our reckoning, You will hate me stronger than you loved me, And I will search for who I am.

http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/10:24 AM
Could use a little more description and fewer of these undefineable constructs. Like, give an example of the suspicious partner's reaction to the narrator talking to someone else, rather than "And you class infidelity as even talking to someone,
Do you think I’d just fuck the first girl who’d pout," Instead of asking the partner that question, say what the partner WOULD think, in the narrator's opinion.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001