poemranker ::midnight, on a weekday by peaceseeker

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 60389

midnight, on a weekday

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Aug 2003 · Edited 2 Oct 2004 · 3 comments

humidity and rain a sticky combination like flames of passion inextinguishable no matter how hard it rains, the fire burns on and on, the rhythmic pitter-pattering on my body, inside, I smoke, water resistant to your proposals to enter me and live your desire for a baby is transparent in an instant I see your unmet infantile desires in your eyes, in your demeanor projected onto me, just because I won't and you said you only wanted a mattress pump I know you lie to get inside I set you up in my back hallway went inside my space capsule trying to ignore the pounding on my door.

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mean 4.67 weighted 4.96 rank 8550 views 196 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[8] http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/7:55 PM Reply
I liked this part "I smoke, water resistant
to your proposals to enter me and live
your desire for a baby is transparent"
but think it could use some punctuation or a line break (contrary to my last comment on your other poem) to make these (and others) distinct, separate phrases.
[7] Patsy 13-Aug-03/5:42 AM Reply
i enojoy the amount of anxiety and the kind of tumbling of words that seems to come from having no breaks.
[7] myles 3-Oct-04/4:44 PM Reply
Nice. Isn't it scary, for women: to think that at the core of each man is the desire to dominate and manipulate women, and for men: to realise that beneath all the things we tell ourselves about love, respect and art, is an animal trying to become alpha male.