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midnight, on a weekday (Free verse) by peaceseeker
humidity and rain
a sticky combination
like flames of passion
inextinguishable
no matter how hard it rains,
the fire burns on and on,
the rhythmic pitter-pattering
on my body, inside, I smoke,
water resistant to your proposals
to enter me and live
your desire for a baby is transparent
in an instant I see your unmet infantile
desires in your eyes,
in your demeanor
projected onto me,
just because I won't
and you said you only
wanted a mattress pump
I know you lie to get inside
I set you up
in my back hallway
went inside my space capsule
trying to ignore
the pounding on my door.
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8565
Posted: August 12, 2003 1:56 PM PDT; Last modified: October 2, 2004 12:24 PM PDT
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Comments:
196 view(s)
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to your proposals to enter me and live
your desire for a baby is transparent"
but think it could use some punctuation or a line break (contrary to my last comment on your other poem) to make these (and others) distinct, separate phrases.