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The Musician

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Aug 2003 · 4 comments

She's in love with a musician His calloused fingers fly across his instrument She's in love with those fingers rough, unfeeling She dances along to the beat A steady strum, Now a fast flying tune overbearing her thoughts She's in love with a musician He plays her between the measures Swaying her hips she dances okay still working on this...any suggestions?

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7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

4 comments

[6] http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/8:04 PM Reply

Seems incomplete, and a little redundant. What else about the musician and her? Tell her those calloused guitar player hands have "compromised" qualities in the sack.

[6] Caducus 13-Aug-03/5:47 AM Reply

Why not imply the musician plays her emotions as well as his instrument, she being the instrument of lust. Most musicians shag non-stop. the line 'she dances along to the beat' is too basic, this is one possibility that impulsively came to me ..she glides like pollen in to a thorn' (so she's dancing in to trouble, in to pain because he will hurt her) and finally name the damn instrument as they say so much, you got the sultry sax, the sad violin, the reverberating cello? which instrument is it? maybe link it to the woman who loves him.

Its not bad as it is but it could be as dark angel would put it----------ACE 6

[n/a] Carvaceous › Caducus 13-Aug-03/10:15 AM Reply

Thanks for the suggestions, they're fab!

[6] horus8 13-Aug-03/10:34 AM Reply

Just one. More obos and less fodder.