Replying to a comment on:

The Musician (Free verse) by Carvaceous

She's in love with a musician His calloused fingers fly across his instrument She's in love with those fingers rough, unfeeling She dances along to the beat A steady strum, Now a fast flying tune overbearing her thoughts She's in love with a musician He plays her between the measures Swaying her hips she dances okay still working on this...any suggestions?

http://mulberryfairy 12-Aug-03/8:04 PM
Seems incomplete, and a little redundant. What else about the musician and her? Tell her those calloused guitar player hands have "compromised" qualities in the sack.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001