Re: Music That Cannot Exist by Fetylum	16-Dec-02/10:36 AM
this is definitely strange, and makes me want to add a "comments from the author" section so folks can get what you're trying to say and give better feedback. I really like the "plot" of this piece, and I like the device of interpersing dialog. Some of the images are a bit obscure for me to get, though it can be argued that that's a desirable thing.
Re: terrorism and break dancing by w~* ATHENA *~w	17-Dec-02/11:11 AM
I liked it up until "there was a summer I learned to like beer" -- that threw me off of the rhythm I'd build up, and... dunno, randomized everything else to dust.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:12 AM
anything with nascent and butterflies gets kudos from me. (well, no, not anything, but I like it) -- the subject I think is a bit tired, and could possibly benefit from more of the playful treatment you start the piece out with.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:13 AM
hmm.
Re: Seasons by impaired	17-Dec-02/11:14 AM
sorry. umm. it's pretty, but I couldn't make my way through "yet another seasons poem" (though I know I'm also to blame for writing such things...) maybe if you clothed it more esoterically, or obfuscated it through stronger metaphor?
Re: Love is just a word by trev086	17-Dec-02/11:16 AM
love is definitely a word used too much. especially for poems. I'd recommend trying to work on the rhythm of this piece so that it flows more naturally. (try reading it outloud and see where you stumble... count syllables and compare stress if you're really bored...) beyond that, eh.
Re: Swimming by [mojo]	17-Dec-02/11:17 AM
I almost REALLY like this. :/ it doesn't flow pleasantly for me, but ... almost. 7
Re: Epitome of Pathetic by royalflesh	17-Dec-02/11:17 AM
cute. well done. :) 9
Re: Ever Felt by nightii	17-Dec-02/11:19 AM
interesting. I'd like these three images to be more intertwined, somehow. 7
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:21 AM
bare -> bear. seems a little forced, and the rhythm fell apart here and there... I can't say I took anything from it.
Re: happy hour by Limness	17-Dec-02/11:22 AM
cubefarm. eh.
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:22 AM
I wrote like this when I was in middleschool. I liked it then.
Re: Deaf by sav876	17-Dec-02/11:24 AM
a try. I like the sentiment of the last line and how it puts some twist on the rest, but... the rhymes feel canned, the rhythm flat...
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:31 AM
sorry, umm. no thanks. :) [or is that: no! down boy, down! no sun/son for you today!]
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:31 AM
"In your shoes I'll walk a mile" -- this line made me stop reading. a) forced into a 'poetic' form, b) cliche. try to say it some other way? or simpler?
Re: The Phoebe Snow by horus8	17-Dec-02/11:32 AM
cute, but the last stanza didn't wrap it together for me. 6
Re: making progress (a piece of it) by Limness	17-Dec-02/11:33 AM
this isn't amazingly original, but it's very pretty; well done, really. 8
regarding some deleted poem...	17-Dec-02/11:35 AM
too high-and-mighty-for me. eh. felt like bad death metal lyrics, honestly, even with the "postitive" tone.
Re: THE MISSING HEART by Prince of Void	17-Dec-02/11:37 AM
THIS HURTS.
Re: The Dreamer by Nicholas Jones	17-Dec-02/11:40 AM
very well done. 9