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Seasons (Free verse) by impaired
Seasons Spring A feeling of joy as new life begins to bud. Like a tree that's replacing its leaves it surrendered last fall. Hope arrives like the storm that brings the first rains. Memory of the beauty that follows engulfs us with anticipation. The delight of life is everywhere. Summer The days become bright my body spasms as I soak in the rays. Evening heat overwhelms to the point of insomnia; A welcome insomnia. I catch the fragrance of a blossoming rose drifting through on a soft breeze. In full bloom, her vulva exposed for her drone to steal its nectar. Alas, time passes and seasons change. Things are drying and becoming brittle with the cool night air. But there is beauty... Still Fall Leaves begin to dry their end is near. With every last glimmer of their existence they hold on... To expose the gleaming colors seen in the rainbows of spring. Evenings become crisp and soon the beauty flutters to the ground. The vista that once enamored us is revealed as nothing more than a skeleton of what used to be. Winter Darkness The nights are long and cold. Life that was once thriving... full of hope, of beauty, of love...surrenders itself. Ice is all that remains in the eyes. This season is unbearable. There is no warmth on the skin. No longer does it embrace the very soul of our being. We buy our time anxious to travel off to distant lands. Looking to steal the rays of life from elsewhere... To once again soak in the warmth. I look to heaven for an answer a ray of hope. My warmth is stolen from the beauty of a snowflake as it melts on the tip of my nose.

Up the ladder: My ode to "the artist"
Down the ladder: lovely

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6363635
Weighted score: 4.818182
Overall Rank: 10941
Posted: September 11, 2002 11:47 AM PDT; Last modified: September 11, 2002 3:44 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Amelia @ 198.146.141.194 | 11-Sep-02/2:10 PM | Reply
I actually like it cause it flows well. some typos though, e.g."existance" is supposed to be existence. Favorite part is "....replacing its leaves it surrended...".
[n/a] impaired @ 198.81.16.174 > Amelia | 11-Sep-02/3:46 PM | Reply
As I said, I am a mere simpleton. Thanks for the correction. Don't sweat the Starbucks comment. Many feel you must be suffering to actually be creative. I liked it.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.213.91 | 12-Sep-02/8:40 AM | Reply
You should go through these and give them agood haircut. Take ALL the small unnecessary words out, i.e.; 'Spring feels of joy. New life begins to bud'. Also spring is not like a tree replcing it's leaves spring IS a tree replacing it's leaves. Get rid of every single "that" nothing will kill a piece of writing quicker. Poem, prose novel or letter. Good luck!
[4] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 17-Dec-02/11:14 AM | Reply
sorry. umm. it's pretty, but I couldn't make my way through "yet another seasons poem" (though I know I'm also to blame for writing such things...) maybe if you clothed it more esoterically, or obfuscated it through stronger metaphor?
[4] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 20-Dec-02/4:22 PM | Reply
"my body spasms as I soak in the rays" can i just say, what?s
[4] -=SeTTle=- @ 140.186.49.230 | 4-Jan-03/10:40 PM | Reply
...and? 4
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