| Re: Sight by monotype |
30-Sep-02/2:26 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-02/3:44 PM |
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good and simple, but I have to agree with half the folks so far that I want it built up into something more.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-02/3:47 PM |
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the flow in the last bit is a bit awkward (might drop "in" from health and slur "aware'f"...) and the bee thing throws me, though reading the comments it makes sense. I also don't really get what the "fish" theme is trying to signify.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-02/3:48 PM |
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too jerky for my tastes? I am unschooled in these things. :(
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| Re: Tide by <~> |
30-Sep-02/3:49 PM |
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this keeps me tottering on the edge of each line until the end -- a very nice feeling, especially on caffeine. :)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-02/3:51 PM |
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| Re: The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog |
30-Sep-02/3:55 PM |
The c is sharp
and for that we must thank
microsoft.
I am NOT A NUMBER! I am a... uh...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-02/5:02 PM |
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I can't get into this. feels more like a grocery list than a poem. (yes, I'm sure a grocery list could be turned into a flowing poem, but..)
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| Re: Cheap Thrills by Owner of the Sky |
1-Oct-02/5:12 AM |
this comes across a little too simply for my tastes. i see where pnk's complaining about the show-don't tell.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the intent, making a cheap thrill out of this poem entitled cheap thrill about a cheap thrill.
Which would elevate it some -- a really good cheap thrill.
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| Re: The day I told her by dalva |
7-Oct-02/12:31 AM |
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this reads purely as prose, and is rather cliche.
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| Re: Losing Control by Tarquin De La Bog |
9-Oct-02/9:12 PM |
"has now gone" and "before too long" scan better without the "now" or "too".
I think instead of "they'll be no more fighting" "there'll [...]"?
I think "try and sue" would work better as "try to sue" -- more proper and as such fitting the tone of the teacher, even if you're trying to let (him?) degenerate. All in all, a beautiful piece. :)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Oct-02/8:10 AM |
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I'm afraid we do only allow posting of your own stuff, as best as we can restrict such.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Oct-02/8:11 AM |
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(as in, please delete this or I'll flag it as plagiarised...)
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| Re: Living Conditions by Christof |
25-Oct-02/2:44 PM |
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| Re: My Woman, My Lover, My Friend by -=SeTTle=- |
12-Nov-02/8:53 AM |
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| Re: I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human by -=SeTTle=- |
12-Nov-02/9:06 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Nov-02/2:47 PM |
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quite beautiful. I would have gone somewhere less pleasant with the beginning, but your journey was a welcome one. [and I don't think anyone's ever sent me a poem from poemranker before! thanks! =) ]
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| Re: No recalculations needed by Bachus |
13-Nov-02/1:15 PM |
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I actually like this. the last stanza seems a bit out of the blue, but all together it's nice.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Nov-02/10:45 PM |
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I didn't even notice this was a haiku on first read. Very nice. :)
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| Re: sleep at 2:24 by blackball |
6-Dec-02/7:07 AM |
exlpoded->exploded
...
and I'm afraid I don't get it.
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