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The day I told her (Free verse) by dalva
Nothing could have stopped me from telling her how much she meant to me. I knew this was the moment that would truly define our relationship forever. Many times I have poured out my soul through written words to her. Flowers and roses were mere tokens of appreciation to her glorious beauty. There she was... the loveliest woman I have ever seen, the most enchanting image a man could possibly behold... was sitting before me. My heart never beat as strong or as fast than in any other moment in my life. As I slowly revealed my intentions to here... she watched and waited patiently. Her gaze focused on me intently and her eyes widened as I struggled to articulate the words. Then in a sudden burst of courage and chance that only love could give me... I began to empty my heart. I held nothing back, my pride, my dignity, and my fear where no longer an obstacle. There was nothing more difficult than telling the women I adored... that I liked her, that I was fond of her, that she was the most precious soul that I've ever encountered. After I finished, I so yearned for the women of my dreams to say she felt the same way, that she too wanted to be with me. But just before she responded... her eyes grew dim, the light that once glowed from her face was covered in darkness and then with only a few words she cut straight through my very being where my heart lay unprotected. The woman who I'd hoped would be my sweetheart; my most cherished red rose... did not feel the same way. I pretended to understand and forced a smile... but behind my face I lay in pieces, shattered, and inconsolable. As she tried to convince me that I would find another, I fought back the lump in my throat, the pain in my heart. Then as we hugged goodbye... at the moment, when I held her in my arms, when I looked in her eyes, when I was enveloped in her long hair, as I was consoled by her soft voice... I knew I would never find anyone else quite like her.

Up the ladder: Universal Musings
Down the ladder: Break

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.820706
Overall Rank: 10905
Posted: October 6, 2002 10:07 PM PDT; Last modified: October 6, 2002 10:07 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Flattop @ 203.12.53.68 | 6-Oct-02/11:41 PM | Reply
man i wanna crawl up in a corner and die...

Well done..!!!!
[3] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 7-Oct-02/12:31 AM | Reply
this reads purely as prose, and is rather cliche.
[n/a] Dark Angle @ 205.186.151.9 > nentwined | 7-Oct-02/3:22 AM | Reply
Perhaps this some some sort of english class excerise in clicheness and this person wanted to share her assignment with the internet... well done i say!
[n/a] blackball @ 131.162.166.103 | 7-Oct-02/5:26 AM | Reply
got blasted eh? yeah it happens to the best of us. no worries. when everything looks to be going sour listen to some deftones and break some shit
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 7-Oct-02/8:20 AM | Reply
at least you had the balls to tell her.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 7-Oct-02/8:36 AM | Reply
That takes guts... Good luck in the future.
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