DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Cheap Thrills

Member since 2002 · Posted 29 Sep 2002 · 18 comments

I would like to meet God. Where do I get a priority number? Is the line going to be long? I'd hate to think, I'd have to wait for hours. But then again, I do that For a roller coaster ride. When I have my conversation with Him, Will it only last two minutes? Is God A cheap thrill?

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10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

18 comments

[n/a] INTRANSIT 29-Sep-02/4:17 PM Reply

Poingnant,scary,funny.8

[9] Christof 30-Sep-02/3:33 AM Reply

I like this. To the point, sharp, sad.

[0] poetandknowit 30-Sep-02/8:53 AM Reply

Told me to much. Good thought, but it is not communicated effectively.

[n/a] Owner of the Sky › poetandknowit 30-Sep-02/10:39 AM Reply

Thanks for the 3. *orgasmic*
I thought you said it wasn't communicated effectively. Then how come it told you too much?

[0] poetandknowit › Owner of the Sky 30-Sep-02/11:29 AM Reply

Look, I don't feel like arguing with idiots who think they are writers today. You "told" me too much and forgot to show me really much of anything. It is a top five rule in creative writing, especially poetry. Show, don't tell. And in an attempt at a clever ditty, it is all the more important. You left nothing to the reader. And you are welcome for the 3, I thought I was being kind. I will give it more thought next time.

[n/a] Owner of the Sky › poetandknowit 1-Oct-02/12:12 AM Reply

Did you just call me an idiot?
What rules? Vers libre. Free verse. End of story.
And who died and made you god anyway?

[0] poetandknowit › Owner of the Sky 1-Oct-02/10:12 AM Reply

Yes, your comment was full of idiocy and your rebuttal was also silly. Every writer who is a writer and struggles with writing knows that you must "show" and not tell. It is the images, the metaphors, etc. that transcend the work from a mere report on an observation into something resembling art. Instead of getting your shorts in a mess, take a look at the poem and see what you can do with it. Find where you can replace telling with images. Like I said, it is a nice idea, but a poor attempt at communicating it.

[n/a] Owner of the Sky › poetandknowit 1-Oct-02/10:18 AM Reply

Will you at least apologise for calling me an idiot?

[7] nentwined 1-Oct-02/5:12 AM Reply

this comes across a little too simply for my tastes. i see where pnk's complaining about the show-don't tell.

However, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the intent, making a cheap thrill out of this poem entitled cheap thrill about a cheap thrill.

Which would elevate it some -- a really good cheap thrill.

[0] poetandknowit 1-Oct-02/10:29 AM Reply

I did not call you an idiot; I said your comment and rebuttal were full of idiocy, which they were. But I am sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way. I am a kind man who is fond of goats. And the day is lovely in California, so I shall only give you sweet regards from this moment hence. God is dead.

[n/a] Owner of the Sky › poetandknowit 1-Oct-02/11:36 PM Reply

Thanks :o) Sorry for taking this whole bit personally, but you scare me, cause I've read your comments on other people's works, and some of them weren't nice.
God isn't dead.

[4] <~> › poetandknowit 4-Oct-02/7:56 PM Reply

the night is lovely in a ghastly way in connecticut; but i am HOME!. ah. nice.

now, as to this poem, yes, it is a good idea, but is hastily and sloppily executed, and so, it disappoints. free verse does not mean lax verse.

god is neither dead nor alive. so there.

[n/a] ==Doylum › <~> 21-Oct-02/8:33 AM Reply

did you put him in the deep freeze?

[4] <~> › ==Doylum 21-Oct-02/8:41 AM Reply

is that where you have been, wingy-d? i have missed you so!

[n/a] ==Doylum › <~> 21-Oct-02/8:56 AM Reply

In the freezer with god? searching for last years pork and stout gnocchi? discussing the good old days? sculpting flowers out of orange ice lollies? Could I claim such a thing? Would it be blasphemous?

[3] Dark Angle 5-Oct-02/1:11 AM Reply

well when you die you will get your #, the line will be very fucking long, and yeah, its a cheap thrill, anything with as much hype as he's been getting is bound to be

[5] Tintagiles 30-Oct-02/8:12 PM Reply

No, I'd say he'S a pretty expensive one. You have to die to meet him, after all. Or take acid.

[8] Caducus 15-Jan-03/4:56 AM Reply

Makes me think of a depeche mode song, 'and i dont want to start any blasphemous rumours but i think that god has a sick sense of humour and when i die i expect to find him laughing' -liked the end of this and the ideas behind it, you have your own little world full of overpopulated thoughts - cool -8