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No recalculations needed (Ode) by Bachus
To deny the truth is his childlike way to wake up with a smile As the future nears and the past is stowed His facial grin is but denial When he was fresh in that youthful skin his evening prayers were aimed at simple subjects and objects A wounded bird A rainless weekend and even schooling projects Lifetimes later or so it seems he ponders with a notion Something is gone and it could only be that nine year old's devotion The bird is dead and rain is welcome The words to a prayer all but forgotten Alone on the road Through miles of thought An answer was learned and mentally taught The clues came so easy with cactus and sand When the coyotes sang their greeting To this lost and found man

Up the ladder: Lucky's Day
Down the ladder: boy girl

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 40
.. 02
.. 20
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11
.. 00
.. 10
.. 01
.. 30

Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.660598
Overall Rank: 2086
Posted: October 11, 2002 11:59 AM PDT; Last modified: November 13, 2002 12:54 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] ams @ 63.93.100.93 | 11-Oct-02/12:27 PM | Reply
Liked the poem, but hated the comment preceding mine.
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > ams | 11-Oct-02/2:07 PM | Reply
wow your witty, but i feel internalization is a waste of time. how do i know you might ask? well i wrote this eleven years ago while in military prison, and the comment i wrote today before posting it. fortunately i think now that the piece is a pile of self pitying child's tripe...and that "preceding comment" happens to be proof of the fact that we all have to 'get over it' sometime. so... get over it fucker.
[4] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.155 | 12-Nov-02/6:12 PM | Reply
Your morality segment ruins everything, but then maybe I do not have the insight to understand this sort of hard-hitting hipster thing.
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > poetandknowit | 13-Nov-02/12:55 PM | Reply
there. thanks. everyones points have been made.
[8] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 13-Nov-02/1:15 PM | Reply
I actually like this. the last stanza seems a bit out of the blue, but all together it's nice.
[8] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.107 | 13-Nov-02/2:42 PM | Reply
Personally, I recieved this well. It felt balanced.8 plus an imaginary 1/2
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 13-Nov-02/4:46 PM | Reply
it's because he wrote it when he was in his coyote face. lol! what a crock of shite...i mean overall it's fine and all..it rolls off of the tongue and is a bit predictable..it's quite old and has that fresh out of highschool "what do i do now" sort of immature smell. oh well. we all started somewhere, but i wont vote. just because that would be the most caddish move for me yet today..other than talking to myself.
a
[n/a] w~* ATHENA *~w @ 64.12.96.237 | 13-Nov-02/9:32 PM | Reply
very counting crows, adam would be proud.
[10] 7!3 @ 219.93.174.101 | 20-Nov-04/12:13 AM | Reply
interesting poem... hope your other poems are better! :)
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