Re: abortion by darylchew	30-Aug-04/12:52 PM
awfully preachy. over-described.
Re: Love Lie's In Misery by Brandy_n_Cali	7-Sep-04/8:19 PM
please, please, please learn how to pluralize words and what apostrophes are for! flow is awkward, concept overdone without anything to really sell it. why free verse with random line breaks when you go to such trouble to rhyme every "sentence"?
Re: ~YOUR TURN~ by Brandy_n_Cali	7-Sep-04/8:26 PM
a rambling rant, awkward flow, nothing new. try painting the picture of the person and situation that is causing these words to spew forth. make us feel the words instead of just throwing them out.
Re: Anthony & Kimberly by Brandy_n_Cali	7-Sep-04/8:29 PM
double meh.
Re: Winters Death by Brandy_n_Cali	7-Sep-04/8:31 PM
odd. I think better than a lot of your stuff simply through obfuscation and length.
Re: Easier To Say Good-bye by Brandy_n_Cali	7-Sep-04/8:32 PM
a little less pretension could help this.
Re: A Fistful of Ass Haiku by HaikuMofo	22-Sep-04/2:08 PM
asstasstic. bonus points for the form of ass, and paradox, and continuity.
Re: Intersection by INTRANSIT	5-Nov-04/9:17 PM
hello again. :)
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-04/12:52 PM
While this has some words I truly love, they don't seem particularly poignant in their usage. This is a poem of cliches (every line!?), and while I have to hope that was the point, I'm missing any deeper meaning.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-04/12:54 PM
that's about all there is to be said for that.
Re: Smoke by zodiac	8-Nov-04/12:56 PM
Head hurts, yes. Can't quite follow every line. Yet I like it greatly. I think I've got a measure of the whole of it. No suggestions on where I fall. Something to be read and re-read.
Re: Bad Year by Miggy	8-Nov-04/12:58 PM
I'm afraid I can't tell what you're saying here.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-04/1:04 PM
This I like.
Re: The huntsman's shame by Stephen Robins	8-Nov-04/1:10 PM
congratulations. first 0 I've read in some time. :)
Re: Daddy's Never There by angelmami17	8-Nov-04/1:11 PM
I see.
Re: Beyond Love by Dovina	8-Nov-04/1:31 PM
This needs more development for me. I want to experience vicariously the depths of ennui.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-04/1:32 PM
too "stated" for me.
Re: Heather Graham by Bachus	8-Nov-04/1:34 PM
oy.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Nov-04/1:38 PM
yes. almost very yes. cadence s2 is off, for me. the image s1 (making the tigers drink from you?) is stranger than the rest. Though ... I see it. But it's still far stranger than the rest. Why must she have seen you weep? How she's acting must be derived from that, or just because she couldn't have missed it? s4 has pretty lines, but they don't gel for me. cadence off a bit as well. Where the piece runs to is beauty (dead as dead can be a bit flat itself, but works).
Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	8-Nov-04/1:40 PM
cute last line with the setup. weak setup.