| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
abortion (Free verse) by darylchew kill me
break my bones.
suck me in
they shall revel in my bloody demise
bathe in my blood
feast on my meat
forgotten,
i will be
only to be remembered,
in nightmares
and sweaty bedsheets
(for your conscience haunts)
what were you thinking,
on that day
that created me?
a moment of
blunder, impatience
screw you.
body flung through windshield.
rest in peace;
i will
for,
my death is avenged.
Up the ladder:
Parody Of Sadness
Down the ladder:
Sleep does my eyes
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0588236
Posted: August 28, 2004 9:01 AM PDT; Last modified: August 28, 2004 9:01 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.8134055 Overall Rank: 385 Comments:
[9]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
|
28-Aug-04/2:20 PM
|
Reply
Sounds like an angry prayer. How is your death avenged?
[10]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.163.128
> Dovina
|
28-Aug-04/6:09 PM
|
Reply
By flinging the aborter through the windshield, of course.
[9]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
|
28-Aug-04/6:15 PM
|
Reply
Then who flung it, and how is that revenge?
[10]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.163.128
> Dovina
|
28-Aug-04/6:16 PM
|
Reply
The aborted foetus flung it. It's revenge because the foetus was well pissed off at being aborted.
[9]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
|
28-Aug-04/6:38 PM
|
Reply
I read it again that way and it makes a lot of sense, even the Yoda voice. I raised it to 9.
[n/a]
darylchew @ 202.156.2.130
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
|
28-Aug-04/9:59 PM
|
Reply
....you actually understood what i meant. thanks. it's rather supernatural.
[10]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.163.128
> darylchew
|
29-Aug-04/4:26 AM
|
Reply
If current trends in abortion continue, do you think there will come a day when all the aborted foeti come back to bite us? Also, do you think that every time we abort something, we are also aborting a bit of ourselves?
[n/a]
darylchew @ 202.156.2.130
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
|
29-Aug-04/6:32 AM
|
Reply
they wont literally come and bite us. but probably more of our conscience doing the work. guilt is a powerful tool. but if the foeti really come back it'll be really cool. ><. everytime we abort A FOETUS (take note it is not someTHING), of course we are aborting a part of ourselves. it is our own flesh and blood for god's sake. the foetus lived in OUR wombs.
[n/a]
deleted user @ 81.178.247.227
> darylchew
|
30-Aug-04/5:27 AM
|
Reply
I have never been pregnant myself and due to some horrible accident at birth will probably never be. However I feel a certain part of me has died when hark the dire whining sound of abortion cometh from my bowels.
[n/a]
zodiac @ 217.23.37.85
> deleted user
|
31-Aug-04/1:44 AM
|
Reply
Was that "horrible accident" congenital virginity stemming from prenatal unattractiveness?
[n/a]
deleted user @ 81.178.247.227
> zodiac
|
31-Aug-04/8:26 AM
|
Reply
err... no. It was being born a man.
Foetal rage from beyond the grave is a touching topic. And the yoda-like dialogue - "forgotten, I will be" - was a nice touch. Shame about the "all lower case" and "arbitrary line breaks", though :( -10-
i will take note.
that's was good ..
powerful and haunting
*shivers* the silent scream?
haha yeah thats where i got my inspiration from.
awfully preachy. over-described.
nentwined, i appreciate your existence.
346 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
