Re: Some of us by daniella	30-Jan-15/1:31 PM
cute :)
Re: The Spell(Alice part I) by alvinb	30-Jan-15/1:36 PM
I really like the potential of the first two stanzas, but the rest disappoints, for me—give me more color, more shifting, more playing with vision (other than bright/dark). Though loss poems are particularly hard to do, in that the general doesn't connect and the particular may be too particular. And they are done, and done, and done--but try to dig into more senses, cohere it all, and don't give up....
Re: Sense {non} by Skamper	30-Jan-15/1:39 PM
the second stanza is your poem. drop the rest. maybe explore that more, or maybe don't. 6 for the poem as whole.
Re: Weather poem 13b by nypoet22	23-Apr-20/2:59 PM
I sure don't know. 13b?
Re: Birb by Aetius	23-Apr-20/3:00 PM
Poignant. I think I've been that bird.
Re: Year of the Cucumber by Dovina	23-Apr-20/3:07 PM
I stumbled a little at "feel"/"feel with"... flows better without to me. (why wallah vs. voila? If you were a cucumber? :) ) "no wanderlust" might be "no lust for wander"? More food for thought than I expected.
Re: Lazy Pindaric Ode Blues by pete	23-Apr-20/3:19 PM
definitely spoken.
Re: Everybody's Gone by impert&ent	23-Apr-20/3:21 PM
damn. nailed it for me right now.
Re: coming out by pete	23-Apr-20/3:23 PM
cute :)
Re: Life in the Z-Zone by T. Jonathron Remp	23-Apr-20/3:24 PM
Torn between 6 and 2. Going with 2.
Re: Due by impert&ent	11-Nov-20/3:20 PM
I may just be out of practice, but I love this.
Re: Firewoman by Richard	11-Nov-20/3:22 PM
Too much cliche in word choice makes it hard for me to involve myself in reading the poem. I believe there's a lot of emotion in this, but it doesn't translate/transfer to me.
Re: Lovesick by impert&ent	11-Nov-20/3:22 PM
Hah, yes.
Re: Fragmental by Bill Z Bub	11-Nov-20/3:25 PM
*hugs* here and there and anywhere.
Re: Fragmental by Bill Z Bub	11-Nov-20/3:25 PM
well that's a new error
Re: Sea Foam by groogirl	2-Dec-20/2:34 PM
Are you the sea foam? Can that be merged with the jester? I don't feel the mixing of metaphors as they stand, but maybe that could be embraced more somehow?
Re: for John by pete	3-Dec-20/3:34 PM
I kind of want to hear this out loud, ranted on stage, maybe with some jazz behind it. I don't know how well it holds up for me for re-reading, I don't feel like it "wraps up" for me? but maybe it doesn't need to. I really want it to wrap up more, though.
Re: Sunrise at McDonalds by Dovina	4-Dec-20/4:13 PM
Feels a little clipped to me in places (first two lines set a cadence for me that I then trip on line three). I like the second view, definitely think it adds something. Though perhaps it would be less on the nose using the word "palm"?
Re: the product of repetition by nentwined	29-Dec-20/11:52 AM
https://madewithcollab.com/collab/W00k80w00h1
Re: Getting Ahead by Jill Stockinger	22-Jan-21/5:15 PM
love it :)