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20 most recent comments by SupremeDreamer (401-420) and replies

Re: Johnny Thunders And Me by pain killer 18-Jun-04/10:38 PM
I feel this piece would be greatly improved if you edited it. Look for repetetive or redundant lines, trim it down to give it better impact and so it doesn't seem to drag on and on.

Despite that, I'm compelled to give it a nine. It's honest, funny, and pushes the right buttons for me.
Re: Cool In The Army by wilco 18-Jun-04/8:34 PM
Not bad, no, not bad at all. Blessed with nine.
Re: A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom 18-Jun-04/8:31 PM
I like it as is, except you could have added a line break after "I'm somewhere."

That said, you are blessed with ten.
Re: Deja Vu by Jeremi B. Handrinos 18-Jun-04/8:27 PM
Bravo.
Re: a comment on mutiny by Bill Z Bub 10-Jun-04/8:45 PM
I was wondering if I perhaps should have hunted you down to disturb your hibernation. Welcome back, and take this blessing of nine- I liked the poem, but the line breaks made it a bit confusing, though I suspect that was your intention, somewhat.
Re: a comment on The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco 10-Jun-04/8:36 PM
Well, my latest villanelle is a writers block piece.

Villanelles are considered to be well suited for expressing unsettling issues that a poet has, etc. so I figured it would simply be a matter of time until I wrote a vill in response to writers block. for some it worsens the block, but it eases my imaginative stiffness when it plagues me.

You could try that perhaps, or something other than a lyric- since, in my experience anyway, writing lyrics aren't effective during writers block.
Re: Even manic dreamers must face Atropos by SupremeDreamer 10-Jun-04/7:45 PM
My writers block villanelle. Hope it isn't too whiny.
Re: The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco 10-Jun-04/7:09 PM
Well.. you know, this doesn't look as if you put all the ability you have into this one.. if it were to be sung, I think it would come out lame. Theres the potential for this to be extended and improved though.

In the mean time, I bless thee with five. Go in peace.
Re: Of Painting by thepinkbunnyofdoom 10-Jun-04/7:01 PM
I like it. Loaded with attitude. Blessed with eight.
Re: Bugs by INTRANSIT 10-Jun-04/6:56 PM
Your use of picasso instills in me the feeling of inadequacy. Take this blessing of ten and begone!!
Re: a comment on The curse of language and other scattered thoughts by Y2kSlamPoet 10-Jun-04/6:43 PM
Well, yeah.. kinda.. but I really wanted to see the response I'd get from posting this bloated and disordered rant on poemranker- I was expecting a general reaction similiar to that expressed by zodiac. heh.
Re: a comment on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer 10-Jun-04/6:26 PM
I didn't expect many to feel this one, I wrote this for my amusement when I was drunk. But it serves it purpose in revealing some of my kinks with villanelles at least.
Re: a comment on The curse of language and other scattered thoughts by Y2kSlamPoet 7-Jun-04/9:45 PM
That works. Could have said that in the first place. Why didn't you?
Re: a comment on The curse of language and other scattered thoughts by Y2kSlamPoet 7-Jun-04/9:29 PM
I quote: "but the path has been laid out for me, I need only the courage to walk it."

That does imply a predestined direction, or maybe I'm mentally warped. I believe its both. But yeah, it doesn't really matter in the end.
Re: a comment on Le Sommeil- Slumber by Sasha 7-Jun-04/9:26 PM
You should post a longer version. ;/
Re: A life unsure by sliver 7-Jun-04/9:23 PM
Well, that earns a nine in my book. Nothings better than a nice good edit.
Re: a comment on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer 7-Jun-04/9:19 PM
-shrug- Don't remember your tequila worm piece.
Re: a comment on The curse of language and other scattered thoughts by Y2kSlamPoet 7-Jun-04/9:17 PM
I never mentioned giving into one basest desires, but I did mention facing ones darker psyche. As for desire, everyone gives into their desires atleast once if not many times- any who say they never have? are frankly lying.

What I've come to know, for myself, is that:

No path is a road to freedom until you have paved it yourself.

So wonderful goodies for you, your followin down the lil yellow brick road. Theres not much courage in following a direction, having to choose and walk without yellow bricks for comfort is brave, and independent- I prefer that over anything else.
Re: a comment on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer 7-Jun-04/6:27 PM
There dimwit, are you proud of me now?!
Re: a comment on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer 7-Jun-04/6:25 PM
Why me marm, who else silly?


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