on SNOGGO's Adolescent Adventure in Sidmouth by Edna Sweetlove
13 Dec 2006, 8:56 AM
Oh snoggo... such an emotional moron. C'mon now, getting paid to shag monroe ain't bad.
on OI! The Brown Flame by SupremeDreamer
29 Nov 2006, 10:53 AM
Boredome and Ignorance. Alas I'm held captive.
replying on Journey To The Centre Of The Loom by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
28 Nov 2006, 10:31 AM
Are you trying to hit on Darkie now? My god woman, have you no DECENCY?? ;P
on Send The Devil... by horus8
22 Nov 2006, 11:10 AM
Alas, it is good... I haven't spoken to you in awhile horus. I've finally gotten round to reading Manly P Halls book, and a curiosity holds me- Are you a mason? This question feels stupid, then again, it's better to get stupidities out of the way.
Aside from that, how are you doing you fuckin bastard? My new email is sdreamer2234@yahoo.com - maybe I'll hear from you soon.
Peace. And heres a ten, though we both know it means nothing.
Aside from that, how are you doing you fuckin bastard? My new email is sdreamer2234@yahoo.com - maybe I'll hear from you soon.
Peace. And heres a ten, though we both know it means nothing.
replying on Vodka kisses & the final sigh. by SupremeDreamer
20 Sep 2006, 8:56 AM
Ah, ok Edna, relax now, we all know I'm not illiterate. Just twisted. :) You wanna make some sweet love now? I like it rough, maybe you can do some dominatrix shit, eh? C'mon Edna, lets make sweet love together!! Call me, 1-800-MAN-SLUT, aight? I'll give you a fuckin discount.
replying on Jose Streets by SupremeDreamer
20 Sep 2006, 8:50 AM
I'll be sure to let you know Ranger, and sorry if my use of "'n" drives you bonkers. :x
replying on Jose Streets by SupremeDreamer
19 Sep 2006, 9:01 AM
nypoet, let me clarify something for you: Toons is an actual night club in san jose, california, right on the corner of second and santa clara. I didn't make up the name, they did. Heh. Thanks for the comments & vote.
replying on Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer
14 Sep 2006, 4:10 PM
Oh well. In any case, I'm not your son, so please do not refer to me as such. :)
replying on The King Of Loserville by mindsigns
8 Mar 2006, 9:36 AM
Well, spice yourself up damn-it. Go to Vegas and do that thing.
replying on Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer
8 Mar 2006, 9:24 AM
Not bad, now stop plagiarizing me Mofo. ;P
replying on War on Iraq by Dhanesh M Kumar
7 Mar 2006, 10:02 AM
Well, you made me envision something worthwhile with that -mother of a soldier- sentence. Add a little substance, character, and its internal thought process, and you'd probably make an Iraq poem worth reading.
Kumar here spewed an vision of confusion, and conveyed a sense of wild verbal 'n grammarical masturbation. Red Biro can't save him, neither can Jesus. He must be Lazurus, let himself die and be ressurected... All through his own pensaber, and what little force he does posses.
Kumar here spewed an vision of confusion, and conveyed a sense of wild verbal 'n grammarical masturbation. Red Biro can't save him, neither can Jesus. He must be Lazurus, let himself die and be ressurected... All through his own pensaber, and what little force he does posses.
replying on Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer
7 Mar 2006, 9:47 AM
Yeah, I've edited this one alot. To be truthful, I used "'n" simply to avoid using "and" too much... one of those ticks of mine, but maybe it's better off sticking to "and" since the whole things formal, & "'n" is somewhat.. "hippie". Thanks for reading it twice, and the vote. I'll rethink the 'n bits and probly mod my own copy- reposted this piece a tad too many, me thinks.
on The King Of Loserville by mindsigns
7 Mar 2006, 9:18 AM
You should cut down on the use of "I" to a bare minimum. It creates a kind of drone within a poem, when used too much. Also, the way you describe this loser is cliche: trekkie, living with mom & pop, needs to get laid... Try to be a little more creative.
Overall, I give it a six.
Overall, I give it a six.
on Eagledale Drive by matt door
7 Mar 2006, 9:06 AM
Oh! The nostalgia. Written well, but doesn't really tickle my fancy man... sorry.
Anyways, here's a seven.
Anyways, here's a seven.
on War on Iraq by Dhanesh M Kumar
7 Mar 2006, 8:55 AM
"where thousand of perilous burns,"
--Perilous what? Wheres the fucking noun man?
"to refrain from that fatal burns."
--Trying to sound fancy & sophisticated? 'That' is singular, 'burns' being plural... wouldn't it have been more intelligent to say 'those'? Oh, yes, don't forget that the missing noun in the beginning confuses it all, unless you intended it as a noun there too- which still makes little sense.
"That they are right as a trivet"
--What the fuck? Did you disconnect your brain from your fingers when typing up this shit?
"alas happened to be the dweller of that land."
--Now this is plain cheesy and fucking gay.
I won't bother continuing, other than to add that using 'Envisage' was idiotic, thesaurophilic, & silly.
Your views on Iraq are cliched, and frankly I don't give a shit. Zero.
--Perilous what? Wheres the fucking noun man?
"to refrain from that fatal burns."
--Trying to sound fancy & sophisticated? 'That' is singular, 'burns' being plural... wouldn't it have been more intelligent to say 'those'? Oh, yes, don't forget that the missing noun in the beginning confuses it all, unless you intended it as a noun there too- which still makes little sense.
"That they are right as a trivet"
--What the fuck? Did you disconnect your brain from your fingers when typing up this shit?
"alas happened to be the dweller of that land."
--Now this is plain cheesy and fucking gay.
I won't bother continuing, other than to add that using 'Envisage' was idiotic, thesaurophilic, & silly.
Your views on Iraq are cliched, and frankly I don't give a shit. Zero.
on letting go too much by calliope
7 Mar 2006, 8:36 AM
Sounds like me and my relationship with methamphetamines... rotten teeth 'n payin for my piper.
Then again, perhaps my ability to relate to/comprehend your poem is miserably crippled.
Six.
Then again, perhaps my ability to relate to/comprehend your poem is miserably crippled.
Six.
replying on Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer
7 Mar 2006, 8:28 AM
Well, it doesn't sound like it: I am, er was, whatever preaching. That's the gimmick. Oh, and the big words weren't put there simply to impress... Sorry your vocabulary isn't more or less extended.
Thank you for the vote 'n comment, brace yourself for the stench after the beep-- peace.
Thank you for the vote 'n comment, brace yourself for the stench after the beep-- peace.
Numb, shutting out world,
chasing it away with doubt.
Used to be deep - but something
happened. Lost myself in thoughts
of life, looking at the world
differently.
Able to see what is ahead,
not behind me. Seems pointless,
being alive within a dream.
Screaming deep inside, yet
silence prevails - Words can't
express what I feel, yet words
are used to describe my emotion.
That's an example of your poem using only one 'I'. Be creative, the English language is pretty flexible in usage - so long as you do so intelligently.
chasing it away with doubt.
Used to be deep - but something
happened. Lost myself in thoughts
of life, looking at the world
differently.
Able to see what is ahead,
not behind me. Seems pointless,
being alive within a dream.
Screaming deep inside, yet
silence prevails - Words can't
express what I feel, yet words
are used to describe my emotion.
That's an example of your poem using only one 'I'. Be creative, the English language is pretty flexible in usage - so long as you do so intelligently.
on After Fighting (More Blood Edit) by zodiac
28 Jan 2006, 1:16 PM
Aggression on meth & lsd with a lil hippied theism.
Perhaps a little rough to follow, but I like it.
Have an eight.
Perhaps a little rough to follow, but I like it.
Have an eight.