Re: a comment on Check Yourself by INTRANSIT	27-Nov-02/8:00 AM
better. now there's more of a sense of it, and yet it remains uncluttered, as is your wont. ;]
Re: a comment on two poles are better than one by <~>	27-Nov-02/7:32 AM
i have changed the last 2 stanzas. have another look?
Re: falling by Aggreddion	27-Nov-02/6:40 AM
i don't think you need 'falling' twice, but i like it at the end. maybe a different title? also, maybe something other than 'deeper' twice? or make it a third, so the repetition is intentional? nice. spare. effective. have a 7 for starters.
Re: a comment on two poles are better than one by <~>	27-Nov-02/6:19 AM
i'm sorry, but i think you miss the point. i was looking within, and that is where this 'messed up pile of words' came from. i don't believe i was judging anybody's feelings; i am not interested in trends. as far as my comments not making sense--did you think about them at all? i mean to provoke thought when i comment on a poem. if you can find no sense in them, do not lay it on me. as for the one you gave me because you are 'nice', i fail to see the logic behind that gesture. welcome to the site. enjoy your stay.
Re: He Is.... by LovingWhispers	26-Nov-02/8:32 PM
no.
Re: Shipwrecked... by LovingWhispers	26-Nov-02/8:31 PM
appealing in its barreness. but un new. so? an 8 because i am a sucker for a love poem, even if it feels like self help. you watch oprah, dontcha?
Re: Pleas Dont.. by MysticalRaven88	26-Nov-02/8:30 PM
ah, melinda. invest in black. you'll wear it well.
Re: Jumble by un4208	26-Nov-02/8:29 PM
and then?
Re: memory by Goose	26-Nov-02/8:28 PM
bites. hard. and that's good. have an 8
Re: Wallet Burn by New Life Drug	26-Nov-02/8:27 PM
erasing them won't do any good if i have the numbers.then you'll feel the burn. did i ever tell you guys about the nice irish boy who got naked and forgot his wallet in my back seat? so i sent his wife porn on his amex, with love from me? no? too bad. it was a funny story. buy me a beer sometime, and i'll even tell you about the crackwhore i saved him from.
Re: ode to horus by daniella	26-Nov-02/8:24 PM
not my slice, i hope. you did save one for me, didn't you dearie? with pepperoni?
Re: ode to bacchus by daniella	26-Nov-02/8:24 PM
so, where have i heard that before? 'soulles goat', that is. i must have been bending too close to his brown eye. again. dammit. i love an asshole that can rhyme.
Re: With Sleepless Breath... by LovingWhispers	26-Nov-02/8:21 PM
a very comforting chant, but, this line feels awkward in sound: "When I think about us making love "
Re: a comment on Check Yourself by INTRANSIT	26-Nov-02/8:15 PM
welcome back,
Re: a comment on Check Yourself by INTRANSIT	26-Nov-02/8:06 PM
works okay. but why the judge in the first stanza? how'd your shoulder get busted?
Re: a comment on Charlie by INTRANSIT	26-Nov-02/8:05 PM
swing the meaning a bit. my favorite haikus have a twist implied within. e.g.--the first 2 lines make me think of a disco ball, but your title isn't duplictous enough to make the last line a relevation. see it?
Re: a comment on Charlie by INTRANSIT	26-Nov-02/8:03 PM
ben left to go do something manly, i think. so it was just me and nat and the kids and crazy paul. ho hum. that's why i'm home early. oh, and the slammer showed up and had a bite with us too.
Re: a comment on Some place west of here, or the big blah blah. both apply by horus8	26-Nov-02/8:01 PM
have you not been reading my poems? sanity is furtive, p&k. besides, you're not west coast, even if you did camp out there. poser. great divide, my eye. you have no coast of your own! ha! why would anyone do that to themself?
Re: Boxers Over Y-Fronts by un4208	26-Nov-02/7:49 PM
so you wear your boxers over your y-fronts, that way, when a chick laughs at you for being small, you can blame it on your undergarments? GENIUS!!!
Re: Surface Damage by un4208	26-Nov-02/7:45 PM
very, very special. and your bus, among other things, is half the normal size, non?