regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-02/2:22 AM
I really like the strong and powerful images, comparisons to the solar system works well
Re: Shut up and Dance by NeeMan	15-Jul-02/2:25 AM
Title does nothing for the poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-02/2:54 AM
Personally I dont like it but I think the style works, is this aimed at children? The story behind it is very imaginative and clever.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jul-02/2:58 AM
Dont think the last line works but it is very powerful.
Re: Icon by timfowler	15-Jul-02/2:59 AM
Good choice of subject matter.
Re: Midnight Delight (a sexual sequal) by crims0ngh0st	15-Jul-02/3:02 AM
Too lond and quite boring to read cut out unnecessary parts to make it more readable.
Re: Black Hole Soul by Red_is_life	16-Jul-02/1:08 AM
Look Im probably not as old as the rest of you on this site so if my poems have an adolescent theme then please forgive me for being so young.
Re: "to do" list:accomplished by razorgrin	16-Jul-02/1:11 AM
Cant see where you are going with this it sounds like something i read on the back of a t-shirt once.
Re: IT'S ONLY A JOB by horus8	16-Jul-02/1:25 AM
Really like this, Parts of it (to me anyway) remind me of a Chilli Peppers song! not sure about 'as charon would quote' but love the rest of it! (7)
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Jul-02/1:27 AM
One I actually think is funny! Reminds me of someone I know.
Re: How much? by T.Becquerel II	16-Jul-02/1:28 AM
What?
Re: thinking alike in regards to today and tomorrow by skaskowski	16-Jul-02/1:46 AM
I really like this poem I think it all works really well together. The only thing i can think of is the 4 and 5th lines both end in then? maybe a change of word on one line? Love it
Re: Ode to Bad poetry by unknown	16-Jul-02/2:00 AM
Peace? maybe remove this it sounds really tacky, I didnt like it till i got to the end and it pulls it all together.
Re: Nicotine Ruse by Red_is_life	16-Jul-02/2:05 AM
I really wasnt sure about this one because my style has changed so much recently (read flies or black hole soul) and I wasnt sure what the new style comes across as. Thanx lol
Re: stamp by Adriaan	16-Jul-02/2:09 AM
The last line could be changed to get across a bigger sense of loss, at the moment it doesnt covey a deep sense of pain. Really good though first two lines really work.
Re: Office Worker angst by Adriaan	16-Jul-02/2:11 AM
A little rigid but very true captures the subject well.
Re: THE DEFENSE RESTS by horus8	16-Jul-02/2:17 AM
Do you guys at all mind if I take the thoughts back to the poem and you can resume round 2 later? Ok I really like this reads like prose but the story is really interesting I like all the bits in () which add a feeling of what exactly you think of people ion the court room. Good like it. (9)
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Jul-02/2:21 AM
You always seem to come up with really interesting poems but I think sometimes you can be a little biggoted? Only an opinion but a lot of your poems are good. Can you take out the sh*t of some of them though? I dont think everyone should be so mean to you and your poems.
Re: Flies by Red_is_life	16-Jul-02/2:32 AM
I agree I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I think a lot of people find that quite hard to deal with in poems because im not scared to deal with the real emotions in life instead of the typical cliches of love and emotions. I prefer to deal with what im really thinking instead of being pretentious as some people on this site can be. Thanx for the constructive criticism I think more people on this site should be constructive instead of negative to everyone else.
Re: Stop it I'm Dizzy! by Lenore	16-Jul-02/2:35 AM
Love this. You know your subject matter and you're not afraid to say what you think. The structure really works and so does the whole thing (9)