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thinking alike in regards to today and tomorrow (Free verse) by skaskowski
where dreams once slept the bed has been moved leaving only the floor as a haven... rolling around in the feathers of then, happiness only existent back then My memories shove me towards Never again Allowing my heart to dangle from a beautiful hand... Floating on a boat of saran wrap i contour with the waves as i wander away, guided by wind and a sense of abandon Towards the world i loved before turning my eyes in And screaming for black arms to drag me away, Hailing them like a taxi, The fare paid with my last energy... When the ceramic sky was bashed from above by that cleansing hand, it cracked and fell like a porcelain rain, crackling on concrete and people alike, Spreading fresh blood around on the clay-littered ground... a world bathed in flames spurted steam from behind me guiding my sails to the emptiness beyond me, for awhile my hands could scrape the bottom of this shallow pool, but now my hands have been ground off, and the bottom is a million miles below....

Down the ladder: The Chessmaster

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 10
.. 30
.. 02
.. 11
.. 11
.. 02
.. 00
.. 02
.. 01
.. 11

Arithmetic Mean: 5.368421
Weighted score: 5.3509483
Overall Rank: 3385
Posted: April 28, 2002 9:02 PM PDT; Last modified: April 28, 2002 9:02 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] nentwined @ | 29-Apr-02/12:51 AM | Reply
I'm afraid I really don't get this -- it makes too many leaps that I can't connect, fragments of images that could all well be separate poems, or lines from other poems. "Then the ceramic sky...clay-littered ground..." makes me think of 9/11. But all in all I have no idea what you're trying to get at.

Only major nitpick with the poem was I didn't like the repetition of "then" twice (lines 4, 5).
[9] deleted user @ 66.162.182.22 | 10-Jul-02/10:12 AM | Reply
I think this is the best poem I've read so far. Love the second stanza.
[8] Red_is_life @ 212.219.59.126 | 16-Jul-02/1:46 AM | Reply
I really like this poem
I think it all works really well together. The only thing i can think of is the 4 and 5th lines both end in then? maybe a change of word on one line? Love it
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