poemranker ::thinking alike in regards to today and tomorrow by skaskowski

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Free verse № 1116

thinking alike in regards to today and tomorrow

Member since 2001 · Posted 28 Apr 2002 · 3 comments

where dreams once slept the bed has been moved leaving only the floor as a haven... rolling around in the feathers of then, happiness only existent back then My memories shove me towards Never again Allowing my heart to dangle from a beautiful hand... Floating on a boat of saran wrap i contour with the waves as i wander away, guided by wind and a sense of abandon Towards the world i loved before turning my eyes in And screaming for black arms to drag me away, Hailing them like a taxi, The fare paid with my last energy... When the ceramic sky was bashed from above by that cleansing hand, it cracked and fell like a porcelain rain, crackling on concrete and people alike, Spreading fresh blood around on the clay-littered ground... a world bathed in flames spurted steam from behind me guiding my sails to the emptiness beyond me, for awhile my hands could scrape the bottom of this shallow pool, but now my hands have been ground off, and the bottom is a million miles below....

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mean 5.37 weighted 5.35 rank 3383 views 306 View voting details →

19 votes so far. Yours would make 20.19 votes so far

3 comments

[5] nentwined 29-Apr-02/12:51 AM Reply
I'm afraid I really don't get this -- it makes too many leaps that I can't connect, fragments of images that could all well be separate poems, or lines from other poems. "Then the ceramic sky...clay-littered ground..." makes me think of 9/11. But all in all I have no idea what you're trying to get at.

Only major nitpick with the poem was I didn't like the repetition of "then" twice (lines 4, 5).
[9] deleted user 10-Jul-02/10:12 AM Reply
I think this is the best poem I've read so far. Love the second stanza.
[8] Red_is_life 16-Jul-02/1:46 AM Reply
I really like this poem
I think it all works really well together. The only thing i can think of is the 4 and 5th lines both end in then? maybe a change of word on one line? Love it