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Black Hole Soul (Free verse) by Red_is_life Look through my eyes
And deep in to my soul,
There's nothing there at all
Just a black hole.
No glimpses of humanity,
Just an evil race,
This is why you see nothing,
Behind my deathly face.
You used to see light behind my eyes,
Coming from your torch.
How can I be pure and kind
When all my mind is scorched?
You used to say there was hope.
That I could be pure and sweet.
But after you changed me
Could you recognise me in the street?
Up the ladder:
between you and me there is nothing
Down the ladder:
deluge
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.923077
Posted: July 12, 2002 7:04 AM PDT; Last modified: July 12, 2002 7:04 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.6748233 Overall Rank: 2006 Comments:
[n/a]
deleted user @ 212.219.59.126
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12-Jul-02/7:20 AM
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Reply
I like the language you have chosen and the imagery is very strong. I like the feeling of loss of innocence.
Love you
Morbidly entertaining. Good vision.
I wrote one similar to this and with an eerily similar title when I was 13. Then I grew up.
Look Im probably not as old as the rest of you on this site so if my poems have an adolescent theme then please forgive me for being so young.
Well i'll tell you as soon as you mutate a little more into some different styles, and start tweeking things around, and taking bigger risks you'll feel alot more protected by " how you personally are discovering your own style of writing". Basically if you mix improv with a sturdy foundation of classical training, do it for 6 to ten hours a day everyday (if not make up for it in reading) by the time you're say twenty seven or so wink. wink (not that i'm twenty-seven cuz well i'm not?) well i'm actually turning twenty-eight in August. Anyway point being money. money. Writing for cash and making your mark. This never occurs in poetry of course, I'm speaking in realistic terms. Above ground free-lance writing. Below ground underground poetry. Get the best of both worlds. Aim high shoot straight don't forget to masturbate. Buck the system. Que no!
Good poem, albeit sad.
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