Re: For Brianna by MaliqaTara |
30-Jan-03/5:48 PM |
Fix the question mark situation, and don't start your sentences off with but, and or of. Unless you are damn good.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Jan-03/5:57 PM |
We refer to depth as bathos in these hollowed halls pilgrim. Remember that lest you meet the hoof and beak of Yor and shudder in terror of being educated the hard un lubricated way. For the poem? The last line is inorganic too pushed..you should find another.
Some "" here might help <stranger, how did you come to be?> because? well because you're asking god damnit unless it's(in your own mind)
change your ins to into.
last line might be......a pile of fish guts.... just kidding how about "so close to eternity" or so far from...
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Re: Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet |
30-Jan-03/6:20 PM |
That would be funny. Let's invent labels for illegal drugs. Obviously we'll target the dealer's market in bulk quantity's..
our sale pitch will be <stick a note dope, why leave yourself a note that's already there> yes YES! I CAN SEE IT ALL
NOW! different colors, textures, scratch and sniff ahhhhhhhhshah big type, little type, lsd friendly labels...anti
paraNOIAAA LABELS SWEET JESUS MAKE THE VOICES GO AWAY!!!!!!!! we could make labels that beep with a
remote device like an avalanche victim or car alarm..you could entertain your friends with it like "hey watch this
guys...lets see where i hid my dope last night"...and you would press the button and a voice would emit from the box
of kleenex and say addict addict over over and everyone would laugh..you could make it chirp..or bart simpsons
voice..it could tell jokes we COULD MAKE LABELS THAT SELL THE DRUGS FOR YOU, WHILE
CONTRADICTING THEMSELVES WITH SURGEON GENERAL WARNINGS AND LEGAL stipulations..shit we
could just fucking make the labels out of drugs then just label the people when they reach the age of twelve...cvhirp
smirp bur burp bur tickity dert sery top in frucker <sorry we interupt our show to bring you an enlightening yet
pointless fool proof ad [buy nikes..or else they'll by you] {tv implodes everyone claps, angels queef in siccinct
orchestral melodies...yet i once again turn and depart unfuckingsatisfied} thanks god, for a nation of finks where
nobody has any privacy or can mind there own fucking business...and the words to describe to my three year old son
what a gun is. aint that kool. pause for effect. whatever./i told him only if they're green and see through i guess i still
have a week until they invent that..shit bachus already did..also this comment is brought to you by 'depends' the only
way to hide an embarassing moment why? well that depends. d
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regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Jan-03/6:49 PM |
Well, well..and here i thought you were gathering webs and critters and poof. One of your best. Take that!
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Re: All I Feel by brokenwing |
30-Jan-03/8:12 PM |
"invadesmy". problem here.
"gently dance upon you skin." 'your' was probably what you were shooting for. Why three foot? try closing that gap to inches.
Bad knews though...read Eros and Phsyche.
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Re: wanker by w~* ATHENA *~w |
31-Jan-03/2:38 PM |
My father was an Incubus.
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Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
31-Jan-03/2:50 PM |
Now this is an 'other' . Thank god when we put on our end of the month donkey shows at your garage they are anything but common profanity. Hear that 'club stridex'? We are uncommonly profane. New and improved astringent for your blackheads, and as soon as the swelling goes down on my knees i'm going to prove it... has anyone seen my mineral oil?
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Re: Because The Ground Is Still Frozen by razorgrin |
31-Jan-03/3:00 PM |
Fuck. I'm stumped...ahh does the hamster represent 'a furry eclectic olive' or the hibernating tread wheel activitie's of our soles. I'm fully aware that the ice tray represents our unity through division, but WHY! WHY SWEET JESUS cAN'T WE INVENT A FREEZER with a hamster escape hatch... i mean for the love of rodent's and plague and funny looking men with tits can't we find it in our soles to just listen to what our hamster friends are trying to say to us... "don't let friends ice skate without gloves and a hat"...it's really that simple.
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Re: Kaolin Fire is SHIT by poemwanker |
1-Feb-03/3:08 PM |
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Re: NASA Fireworks by TheDevil |
2-Feb-03/3:43 PM |
I was hoping for something a bit more intelligent, but then againn this is poemranker not Yale. Stipend anyone?
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Re: A Short Letter by Ranger |
4-Feb-03/1:28 PM |
Wasn't Byron lame and portly? Don't get me started on Chaucer.
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Re: immaculate perception by w~* ATHENA *~w |
5-Feb-03/12:24 PM |
Beef and broccoli with oyster sauce. choice!
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Re: breathe on me? by emilyowey |
6-Feb-03/6:04 PM |
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Re: 6:02 by corinacorrie |
6-Feb-03/6:06 PM |
A bit chirped... i feel and rushed.
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Re: Past by Dostoyevsky |
6-Feb-03/6:09 PM |
I liked this. I gave you the blue nine a couple of hours ago. cheers.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Feb-03/7:40 PM |
your ability to rhyme death with left was riveting. bravo. 10!?
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Re: Ghost Girl by wordontheverge |
9-Feb-03/9:00 AM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Feb-03/9:35 AM |
What? Do you consider yourself intersting and complex, pity.
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Re: Pain by Teen14 |
9-Feb-03/1:34 PM |
i believe that this poem would work miracles, if you sustituted "soap" for "stop".
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Re: Truth by strider1 |
9-Feb-03/1:38 PM |
The Lorde of Chirpe is still loyal, and i , his fathfull scabbard... will hold thee... cupped.
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