Re: Advise by Audaciouslilgrl |
13-Jun-03/9:09 AM |
I have some advice for you. look at and rate a bunch more poems, learn a few things, read the "best" list and start over.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Jun-03/10:56 AM |
classifying this as "other" is fitting. it is something "other" than poetry. It is particularly trite and stolid...tired, unoriginal and horribly riddled with typos.
"standind right out
side my winow space."
you sound like a retard on drugs.
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Re: Hot Potato by Shardik |
20-Jun-03/5:14 AM |
my neighbors are jews
a 5 syllable last line for you.
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Re: Seven by Dangzter |
20-Jun-03/5:15 AM |
something like, "how are you doing?"
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Re: Give me beer! by Agemo-Z |
20-Jun-03/5:18 AM |
DOes she look like your mom? If you are too drunk to tell, you probably don't want to bring that one home.
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Re: Greeny nature by chigurukala |
20-Jun-03/5:20 AM |
5
6
3
mekka lekka hi mekka heiny ho.
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Re: Obsessions by Nicholas Jones |
20-Jun-03/5:29 AM |
I used to be in love with the trapezoid myself, until i discovered the tetrahedron.
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Re: when you want your haiku to be cool but otherwise got it trashed because you are f*#ing limited by 5-7-5...and you think you can get away with it but end up getting criticized in the web by unknown |
20-Jun-03/5:32 AM |
the limitations are what force the discipline and that is the essence of the Haiku form--beauty through discipline.
"sometimes an apparent constraint can serve to free the imagination" - Theodore Roethke
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Re: Titanic by DespondentDotCom |
20-Jun-03/5:33 AM |
4
8
3
are you counting the title as part of 17 syllables?
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Re: Pointless tears by shwenatjadeflower |
20-Jun-03/5:34 AM |
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Re: winter by w~* ATHENA *~w |
20-Jun-03/5:36 AM |
If you actually wrote this yourself, bravo. if not, then shame on you for defacating on art.
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Re: Haiku: The Legend Continues by brazen |
20-Jun-03/5:38 AM |
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Re: Oh mother, thou art stoned! by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
20-Jun-03/5:39 AM |
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Re: Jesus was a necromancer by horus8 |
20-Jun-03/5:40 AM |
I don't care that this is sacreligious, it is crap any way you look at it. nice job.
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Re: I'm Not A Poet by JuddNelson |
20-Jun-03/5:41 AM |
Sonnets are a bitch. start with a rhyme scheme, abd go from there. check out www.sonnets.org
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Re: saving myself for marriage by Venus |
20-Jun-03/5:42 AM |
? I didn't know starfish ate cherries.
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Re: A Moment by nentwined |
20-Jun-03/8:37 AM |
too many syllables.Nice, but too many syllables.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Sep-03/7:21 AM |
check the inconsistent verb tenses - devours - receding
active to passive - I'm not exactly sure. but i know that recedes works better, and leaves you room for an adjective or other words in the last line.
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Re: Ferris Wheel by alverland theme park |
30-Sep-03/7:22 AM |
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regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Oct-03/9:48 AM |
screw it. I completely redid the whole thing.
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