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A Moment (Haiku) by nentwined With these lines I do entwine
you, your mind, a moment in time:
velvet
wine.
Up the ladder:
Behind My Blue Eyes (rough draft)
Down the ladder:
this meal was knowledge
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.821429
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:19 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:19 AM PSTWeighted score: 6.821428 Overall Rank: 366 Comments:
[4]...
anonymous @
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7-Jul-01/1:27 AM
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Reply
I like the other version better ("a moment in time") MarkB
oooooh... love this one.... Shar
pretty, but you SIN! it's 783- a haiku is 575. you question the gospels, eh? :)
For some reason this poem seemed really...fast..not short so much but...it flowed fast....not well, not badly either, but it seemed really decisive, almost curt.
The last line is not exactly a line but still I like it.
too many syllables.Nice, but too many syllables.
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