| Re: Altitude by half.italian |
20-May-07/9:26 PM |
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i'm sorry, it's just not well written.
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| Re: The Happy Side of Misery by Dovina |
22-May-07/10:30 AM |
you get us about a quarter of the way there and we are begging for some chocolate milk served by kids on the side of the road.
quaint and so pastoral
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| Re: The Editor by Dovina |
22-May-07/10:34 AM |
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you need an editor. and someone to let you on to the fact: you don't buy fruit from trees, known or otherwise... and lastly, as a poet you should know all trees... tsk tsk
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| Re: Grafton Street Late Joys by Engelbert Humpalot |
9-Dec-11/11:30 AM |
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| Re: Twilight Affair by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
9-Dec-11/11:32 AM |
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| Re: Wind By Any Other Name by Edna Sweetlove |
30-Dec-12/1:20 PM |
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| Re: The Young Girl From Khartoum by Edna Sweetlove |
2-Sep-14/4:01 PM |
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| Re: Let's praise great Britannia's golden days of now and then by Edna Sweetlove |
2-Sep-14/4:03 PM |
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you lost me at the onset.
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| Re: "She Phoned This Morning" by ARTIE |
2-Sep-14/4:07 PM |
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sense and sensibility permeates this piece, which indeed seems more like the intro to what is a beautiful ode to love lost
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| Re: Lizzie Boredom by Bonehiss |
14-Sep-14/6:00 PM |
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i hope you did not send this to her.
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| Re: server maintenance by nentwined |
14-Sep-14/6:02 PM |
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| Re: Outliers by nypoet22 |
14-Sep-14/6:20 PM |
some of the metaphors don't work, not even surreally...
there are some great phrases here, some imagery but then too much prothletysing...
zest of a grapefruit is never sweet, always bitter.
work it.
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| Re: February by half.italian |
14-Sep-14/6:25 PM |
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this is just not written well
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| Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar |
22-Feb-15/7:21 AM |
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there is a lot of feeling and outrage and sadness that is begging poetic justice in this poem
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| Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar |
22-Feb-15/7:24 AM |
i love your thoughts. they are in the right place and the poem works on some levels. keep engineering the phrases. and perhaps punctuation is needed, for example:
Alas doing, for the sake of bread
no?
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| Re: What Bitches? Oh yeah, I'll be talkin major shit. by SupremeDreamer |
15-Jan-17/5:30 PM |
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Diseloquence is your invention
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| Re: Ted & Santa Go Gay by Edna Sweetlove |
8-Oct-17/7:25 PM |
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| Re: Pandora's Box by Edna Sweetlove |
8-Oct-17/7:30 PM |
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| Re: Making a Man by Christof |
8-Oct-17/9:06 PM |
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i feel the memories biting through. this is lovely. and i love how you are alluding to the inner man and the outer snow man at once...
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| Re: My Tomahawk goes up, UP, AND AWAY! by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
3-May-25/8:04 PM |
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