regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-04/11:50 AM
'other' indeed!
Re: Haiku 2004 by Princess_Snowflake	3-Jan-04/11:54 AM
You seem to have put effort into getting the syllable count correct. Unfortunately it should be 5-7-5 not 5-5-7. Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku. This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-04/12:03 PM
When I think of a lyric, I think of lines of waffle and then some incendiary line that can be quoted ad nauseum. This is good too, like the musicality. It would probably make a decent vilanelle (like a lot of lyrics).
Re: Last flight of a goose by Bobjim	6-Jan-04/5:51 AM
In reverse this poem is ace!!!!
Re: Listen by candaliesa	6-Jan-04/5:55 AM
Again and wind is a nice half-rhyme. A lot of cliches though such as my heart is free (has it been let out of your rib cage?) Also hearts do not have melodies they have beats.
Re: your wife's pain by peaceseeker	6-Jan-04/7:18 AM
Line breaks, well communicated, interesting idea, nice sounds.
Re: Baggage by darkshark	6-Jan-04/7:30 AM
Last three verses labour the point a bit. First two verses are the best, the wordplay of 'tip your hat to visitors and the holidays' and also 'no other way to put it/ except in a hat'
Re: Black Beach by Caducus	7-Jan-04/2:37 PM
Good, couldn't really get into the first verse, but the second is good. The stench rises/buried alive in dead fish stand out particularly. 'The beach is not environmentally friendly' seems a bit awkward though
Re: BreakBeat TimeTravel by nentwined	7-Jan-04/2:40 PM
The first line beak makes no sense to me.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jan-04/2:43 PM
You condemned me by showing heaven is good (I think the first part may be an old quote). The rhyming seems oddly placed though
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jan-04/2:45 PM
sleep with the fishes?
Re: Wicked Corruption by devilishnutcase	7-Jan-04/2:46 PM
All aroused? - surely some more creative use of language would better communicate your point.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-04/1:18 PM
Laughable
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-04/1:20 PM
The use of tense in this limerick leads me to believe that grandfather died halfway through!
Re: Da Ghetto by <{Baba^Yaga}>	11-Jan-04/12:02 PM
Like it, think the end of verse one should be 'all fuckin illiterut' or 'all fuckin idiots' Like the sentiment of that line, rings true.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-04/12:05 PM
Always like this kind of style, the rushedness of it all and then the final line that stops the poem dead. Doesn't need the lines though (that may just have been so p/r didn't get the format wrong).
Re: Malaysia by Crakyamuni	11-Jan-04/12:08 PM
A furor like sedative? both words are kind of opposites. Likewise trust your belly button is daft. Other than that love the rhythm and rhyme (although to please the purists perhaps it should make more sense in places)
Re: i am probably on my 7th shot of vodka by tralala42001	11-Jan-04/12:13 PM
Not bad this, a bit short. Not enough for me to know what you mean by 'comforting touch on my breast' - is it sarcastic? I'm thinking so or do you like strangers? they are a stranger right?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-04/12:19 PM
very short, good nonetheless, I do like elongated poems. I think you get to feel the texture of words like cycloptic and billowing/ black better
Re: Nuisance by DMonster	11-Jan-04/12:21 PM
Seriously DMonster, pretending to be suicidal is not cool.