Black Beach

Member since 2002 · Posted 7 Jan 2004 · Edited 7 Jan 2004 · 5 comments

The manmade zodiac shone Breathing darkness in to darkness But in days long ago It made my eyes bleed silver In days long ago Three crescent eyes once shone. Lightning brings the entrails of the sea As waves fall the stench rises A lonesome gull cries as it soars As countless others become inked quills Writing their fate on a beach where the white flag still blows Becoming buried alive in dead fish. As a child I searched for mermaids here The sand was soft and seagulls cried. As a hopeless romantic I walked here in summer sunsets And pictured myself in the scene âFrom Here To Eternityâ I never found my Deborah Kerr But always found myself here. This beach is now man made ruined by the storm? But man has come to save it And the old Russian ships still sail Bringing the life blood of man on the life blood of everything, and everyone.

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mean 7.67 weighted 6.33 rank 855 views 343 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

5 comments

[9] DreamerSupreme 7-Jan-04/2:13 PM Reply

Great work caducus, twas a good read. Nine.

[8] richa 7-Jan-04/2:37 PM Reply

Good, couldn't really get into the first verse, but the second is good. The stench rises/buried alive in dead fish stand out particularly.

'The beach is not environmentally friendly' seems a bit awkward though

[9] INTRANSIT 7-Jan-04/6:29 PM Reply

Something about this screams SONNET! There's plenty of material and plenty of great lines. "...white flag still blows" gives me an image of the backsides of crashing waves from the air.

[3] A. Nomaly 7-Jan-04/7:30 PM Reply

When you became a hapless romantic I lost all interest. Without the universe all around it is nothing but a two-dimensional depiction of romance

[10] scitz 8-Jan-04/10:51 AM Reply

Cute